Scoutings

Oh, my Scout. You're my little laugh-a-minute. 

Last week, we were visiting Texas. I took you and your aunt Allie and cousin Maddie, and of course Sloane to eat at the Salt Lick. Some good 'ol fashioned BBQ before we returned to the land of Baja. We enjoyed a nice meal and then piled back in the car, full of smokey and savory meat, cobbler, cole slaw, and sweet tea. 

Sloane sat in the middle carseat, while you were behind the driver, and Maddie was on the other side. Your sister was having a rare moment where she felt like screaming in the car...the entire way home. So, you went about your Big Sister duties. You tried singing (because it usually works). You tried laughing (hoping that she'd catch on and laugh, too). You tried crying (hoping to "outcry" the baby). You tried giving her a lovey. You tried a pacifier. I think at one point you even offered your own hand for her to chew on (her very favorite thing ever). 

When none of these things worked, you gave up and decided that she was just going to cry for a minute. I turned back and saw you holding her pacifier. You said "it's not working!" I told you that it was fine, that sometimes babies just cry for no reason other than to cry or that we couldn't fix the problem right then. 

The next thing I know, you were laughing...and a in a mischievous voice I heard: "I'm using her slobber to paint her face like an Indian!" 

I'm not sure your sister appreciated it at the moment...but this story will make her smile in years to come. Like, a lot of years. 

Fourth month

You've entered your fourth month. Everything is a dream. You've started rolling. I was showing you off to my sweet friends over Thanksgiving break. I told them you were rolling from back to tummy but then getting so frustrated because you couldn't figure out what to do next. As soon as I put you down on their blanket...you rolled....back to front and front to back and back to front and front to back...straight off the blanket. You're a nut! 

As soon as we get a handle on you and your ability....you throw us for a loop! It seems like every milestone is at an inclinate pace (but you are right on track). You're working on sitting up by yourself. You prefer sitting in the bumbo chair. You think your sister is hilarious. You can focus on things across the room. This morning, I took you on an emergency trip to Whole Foods (out of diapers) and as soon as I opened the back hatch to get your stroller out, you saw my face and started giggling. It's hard not to break eye contact with you when you do things like that. Your smile is contagious. You are starting to warm up to strangers. Up until a few weeks ago, you were not impressed with other's attempts at getting you to smile. You are very stoic that way. Now, you'll smile at the waiter, the cashier, Scout's teachers, other kids, animals, etc.

You met more of your extended family this month. We went to Austin for the Thanksgiving holiday and to see your Bepaw who returned from Tanzania to spend time with his four grandchildren (two of which are new to him). You were quite surprised by the familiarity in his face and the difference in his voice. But then, you charmed him with your smile. He admitted to us that if the two grandkids had been on their way before he left, he would have had a hard time making his commitment to the Peace Corp a reality. We are glad, however, that he has had this opportunity. We are so proud of him and all that he's doing. It goes to show that you should never give up on dreams...no matter how "out of the norm" and difficult they may seem. I hope that you will learn that from him and other people in your life.

You also met two sets of your great-grandparents. You are one lucky and loved little lady. You received your Texas state seal baby rattle (a family heirloom item that all the babies have on my side of the family) and your knitted-by-hand Christmas stocking with your name on it (something everyone has on Jay's side of the family).

You have found your toes. You love reaching for them every chance you get. You've managed to get them in your mouth a few times, but still prefer your thumb. I thought I'd never encourage a thumb sucker, by the way. But funny...it has nothing to do with wether I've encouraged it or not. You were born sucking your hand (actually have ultrasound photos of you doing this in-utero) and you will be a thumb-sucker, regardless of all the times we offer you a pacifier.

I can't wait for this next month. You will meet more of your extended family as we travel to Texas.  I can't wait to share your first Christmas. I can't wait for you to try new things (food! sitting up! starting to crawl!). You are truly amazing babe.

elephant

brave girl

3 months old

You technically turned three months old on Friday. Here it is Tuesday, and I'm just now getting around to writing this post. To say you've been keeping us busy would be an understatement. For such a tiny person, you sure want to get up and going! Your Marmee came to visit this weekend, and said it perfectly when she noted that if you could get up and run, you'd be out the door already! You are a wiggly baby, and I fear what that means for your future. You will probably be fiercely independent...which is a sure way to break a mama's heart with a bittersweet mixture of pride and melancholy. But for now, you are still our tiny one. You've rolled over twice, but have shown no interest in doing it repeatedly...yet. You laughed for the first time today. 

You have a high-pitched squeal that is so adorable when it shows up in the midst of your crying, I can't help but smile. It is also omnipresent in your daily babble and now those sweet giggles. I love starting our day with a chat session....and when I listen to you goo and guuuh, I imagine you are telling me about your dreams and how much you love being a part of our family. You are grasping for everything now...intentionally. You are quite enthused about playing with your rattles and various toys. You have learned to soothe to sleep with the help of your "lovey baby," as Scout calls it. I never believed in babies having an attachment to such things this early on (your sister did not attach to her ducky until probably 6 months old or so). But, oh my, how you've proved me wrong. You're a scooter. You've started propelling yourself across your crib and playmat using your feet. We've since relocated your playmat from the couch or bed to the floor and your crib bumpers are now off (caught you trying to chew on one the other night, and your daddy quickly removed them--no fun for you, I know). 

You are still waking up once or twice during the night for feedings...but call me crazy, I don't mind it. I'm not trying to get you to cut back. With your sister, we had her on a schedule by now...but with you...we've let you decide your own schedule. Call it "2nd child ease," or whatever...but I'm noticeably more laid back with you. I think it's good for us.  

We took you to the beach for the third time this weekend. You didn't sleep the entire time we were there, as you have the previous two times. You sat up and listened to the waves that your sister splashed in. You seemed to enjoy it...you were happy for the two hours we were there. I can't wait until you are also splashing in the waves with your big sister. You guys are going to have so much fun. 

We also took you to the pumpkin patch at Underwood Farm in the Simi Valley. We went there last year with your sister, and looking back at the pictures, it's hard to believe how much she's grown. And how you are here. And we are all a family of four, together. We love you so much and are so thankful for you, our silly girl. 

kids, talking, jealousy, etc.

Scout was in the dining room and yelled "GOOOO" to which Sloane replied (from the living room) "GOOOOOOOOOO." That thing about kids having their own language? Apparently it still applies if they are four years apart.

Sloane's been using inflection, volume and Guh's and Goo's and Gah's lately to express herself. At times, she really seems to be holding a conversation with me or her sister. She will say "guh" and then wait for your response and then answer back "guh." The other day, this happened no less than ten times in a row. 

Scout reads to Sloane when she is upset. She helps make tummy time more fun by getting on her tummy as well. She helps me get dinner made because she entertains her sister by dancing, singing, talking, tickling, etc. 

She also has startled her sister into crying by jumping out from behind the couch with a "boo!" or two. She's becoming a little bit jealous of my time spent with Sloane, especially on Mondays. That or she really knows how to work it in order to get Menchie's dates with mom. Either way, I'm happy to oblige when I can. 

Jealousy is definitely part of our day, but it isn't the part we remember before tucking in at night. We talk about our favorite parts of our day...the silly parts, the fun parts, the exciting things. The cplayful times and the love are the things that stick. 

tumblr/instagram photos

for those interested, i post all of our instagram photos here: http://someblogiread.tumblr.com/

Parenting, 2.0

So you think you want to have kids? There are a few tests to see if you can hack it. 

1. Can you discern words from toddler babble?

2. Can you wipe a four year old while burping an infant?

3. Can you spend 45 minutes of your day making a rainbow wand out of paper? Using only a glue stick, safety scissors and a cut out from DisneyJr.com? Without cursing? 

4. Can you read maps drawn by a four year old that are supposed to lead you to a park?

to be continued....

Two months.

Two months ago, you were born. Your life has brought so much joy to ours. I watch you sleep (yes, you do that a lot still) and wonder what we would have ever done without you. I try not to dwell on it, but yes, you are our miracle. Your soul was meant to be realized. You were meant to be in our family. We are so lucky to have you. 

You started smiling this month. Actually smiling, and not just in your sleep. I wake you up every morning, lift you up in the air and you smile. I wipe your face with a cloth and you smile. Your sister talks to you in her high-pitched voice and you smile. Your daddy comes to your rescue and you reward him with a smile. Thank you for that. It makes all the hard work SO worth it. 

You got to meet your "aunty esmy" this month. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...there is nothing like sharing your child with your friends and family for the first time. It amplifies everything. Every emotion you have for both people comes into clear focus and then is made bigger. When you see them together, it speaks so loudly to your heart: "this is the good stuff." Of course, your sister was excited to share you with Esmy and Esmy with you. What a special thing for you girls...to be loved so much by so many people. 

I didn't think it could happen, but your sister loves you more every day. She is always saying how "adorable" you are. Everything you do is adorable. Messing your diapers is adorable. Spitting up? Adorable. Crying? SUPER adorable. She shows you off to all of her friends at school. She shows you off to her teachers...she especially likes showing them what outfit she picked out for you on school days. She loves showing you off to random strangers at the LK Swim Academy. She is so super proud of you. And that is adorable. 

Keeping it REAL in here

So I was talking with a sweet friend today about our postpartum experiences. It can really be night and day, can't it? I mean, I knew that already...because of the differences between postpartum Scout and postpartum Sloane....but I had no idea how different they really are. 

So, we were talking about sleep, the lack of, our bodies and how they are different now, healing, mental clarity, hormones, family visiting, and life changing experiences....and I thought I'd take this time to document something I didn't really care to even talk about after Scout was born: my body image. 

I've never been a super skinny girl...well, I'll take that back...I never thought of myself as a super skinny girl...but I look back and I was pretty skinny for a figure 8 shape....in high school. So, after having a baby, I realize my body is not exactly the best it's ever been. Naturally. And I didn't really care about it after Scout's birth as much as I do this time. Maybe because I'm thirty. Maybe because my husband is totally smokin' hot right now with his weight loss and I want to look good, too. Maybe it's because we live in LA. I dunno. Whatever it is...I wanted to document this as my starting point because I honestly feel like I'm ready to get in shape, and I've got the energy, the time, the means to do so. Also...my husband is smokin' hot and I don't want to be his frumpy housewife. Have I mentioned that yet? 

So here it is: photo proof...I've still got a little belly...7 weeks postpartum. It's a little jiggly. It's gross if I try to squeeze into my pre-pregger's pants. It's got stretch marks and it compliments my lovely child-bearing hips. and thunder thighs. So these are my problem areas...and the places I want to see some 

shrinkage. 

No, I'm not sucking in. 

No, I didn't make the bed today.

Stats: 

5'4"

153 lbs

6 weeks 5 days postpartum

Size L/10 (it's not attractive/muffin top action)

Not really fitting into anything non-maternity on bottom

Some maternity on top, mostly pre-pregnant tops

Exercise: VERY mild. Talking walks with my 4 year old at this point. 

on having kids.

I think I've said this before, somewhere on this blog...but I want to preface this entire post with the disclaimer that I don't think I'm better than anyone because I've had kids. There. I said it. And with that...

You think you know what music is...then you hear the first cry of your newborn baby. 

You think you know what life is...then you bring one into the world. 

You think you know what birthdays are about...then you experience a birth. 

You think you know what love is...and then you see your four year old kiss her baby sister on the head 12,000 times a day. 

You think you know what serving others is...and then you care for a newborn baby 24 hours a day. 

You think you know what selflessness is... until your sole purpose for eating, drinking and breathing is to feed a child. 

You think you know what tired is...until you've been woken from a deep sleep at 3 in the morning by the grunting and groaning of a 3-week-old who is hungry. 

You think you know what fear is...until you fear for the safety of your children. 

You think you know what pride is...then you see your happy and thriving children traversing through this world. 

So much changes when a baby is born. It's not because you change as a person...because you always held the capacity to BE the person you are now. But when a helpless child is your responsibility, you look at the world through a new lens; a sharper, clearer, magnified focus. I feel so much love on a daily basis that my heart has grown larger than my self...larger than this house...larger than this city that we live in. With all that we have gone through for the last four years....to get to this place...this destination that is "the rest of our lives".....parenthood...I just...the words fail me. "Blessed" is too vague. "Lucky" doesn't even touch it. "Fortunate" is too cheap. 

Thank you, to the man who loves me...who helped make all this possible...who shares the job, duty, and pleasure of being parents to two(!) amazing little girls. Isn't this the best? 

A name.

People always ask 

Ada.

German- "nobility"

Hebrew- "adornment"

As I'd mentioned in another post, we had picked out a name for our second daughter when Scout was still a baby. We also knew that we wanted to do the same naming scheme that we followed with Scout--meaning, something more traditional for a first name to go with her more contemporary middle name. We also leaned towards German names or spellings in homage to Jay's surname and heritage. I was always a fan of Anna and Adelaide. Jay has always liked Elizabeth, but also liked the sound of "A" names with two or three syllables. 

We came across Ada on a name list and put it on our short list. Then, signs began popping up everywhere for us. Ada is often used in short for Adelaide or Adeline. Adelaide is the name of the street directly behind our first California address...a historical street in Santa Monica that offers great views of the Topanga Canyon and Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, and Malibu beaches. 

Ada was the name of Lord Byron's second daughter...Ada Lovelace, who is often credited as the first computer programer. On our honeymoon in Switzerland, we visited the Chateau De Chillon on the shore of Lake Geneva. Lord Byron's famous "The Prisoner of Chillon" was inspired by Bonivard's captivity in the dungeons of Chillon from 1530-1536. Lord Byron also carved his name into one of the pillars in the very dungeons where Bonivard was held. 

Her initials are ASH...the same as the first three letters in my name and also the same initials as Scout. 

Sloane. 

American English- "fighter, warrior"

Sloane is a name that Jay has liked since he was introduced to the Canadian rock band (Sloan). 

Also, the name of Ferris Beuller's girlfriend in the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." 

Also, the name of E's girlfriend in the HBO show "Entourage." 

But the thing that solidified the name for me, was a coincidental conversation I had with my mom a few years go. She was working for a home healthcare company, and ran across Sloan as a surname. She mentioned it to me for use as a baby name, not knowing that we had been in love with the name for a couple of years. It's those little signs that point to "yes" for me. I remember when we were thinking of names for Scout....I mentioned that we really liked "Scout" for a girl to my parents. My dad said "I don't care what you name her, we'll call her Scout." Haha. 

Forgive me.

I've been M.I.A....preoccupied...busy...

You see, on July 12, 2012...our lives were forever changed. Our world was rocked. Our experience enhanced. Our bounty increased. Our fruits were labored. 

Our sweet Ada Sloane came into the world at 3:49 pm. She weighed in at 6lbs 14 oz. A tiny package, ready to meet her family. She measured 18.5 inches. She was almost 2 lbs smaller and 2 inches shorter than her sister's birthsize. She was also 17 days earlier than her sister...delivered at 38 wks 5 days. 

She has wasted no time gaining weight and growing inches. By her two week appointment, she was weighing 7lbs 8oz and measuring 20.25 inches. 

We are all doing very well. Delivery and recovery were much easier for me with this one. I almost literally bounced back immediately. I ran off of very little sleep and lots of adrenaline for the first week, and family stepped in to help out so I could rest. 

Life is good. Amazing.

Funnies

Our little smarty pants keeps us laughing...enjoy. 

Scout: Hawaii? That's where my friend goes to eat dinner all the time.

Jay: Scout, do you know where we are from? 

Scout: MEXICO! 

Jay: Not quite....

Scout: ARIZON-I-A!

Jay: Getting closer. 

Scout: CALIFORNIA! 

At the dinner table (eating pesto pasta with shrimp and cherry tomatos)

Scout: Mom! Is this DEAD? (holding a shrimp)

Me: I know you don't quite understand, but mommy is exhausted. 

Scout: Don't take another nap! Just...read a book and pretend you DON'T like sleeping! 

This just happened...

As Jay is walking out the door to go to the post office:

Me: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 

Jay: I know. What flavor? 

Me: ummmmm

Jay: You want both flavors? 

Me: No, just the chocolate with peanut butter.

Jay: But you want two of them? 

Me: That should last me the rest of the week. 

Jay: uh...huh....

Me: love you! 

So much.

On the day she was born, our lives changed. I didn't quite grasp the magnitude of it at the time, but a few short hours of her existence in this world later...we were different. We were parents.

I remember when the family and friends left the hospital that night, and it was just Jay and Scout and myself left in the hospital room. The nurse came in to take Scout to the nursery for a check-up and recommended that  I get up and do some walking around. Jay and I took a stroll around L&D and as we rounded a corner, there was a nurse pushing a bassinet towards the nursery in our direction. As she walked by with another little baby, it struck both Jay and I at the same time..."that could be our baby, and we wouldn't know it yet because we don't know her cry or her face well enough yet." We hadn't memorized the sounds and the sights of our little girl yet. That is a really strange feeling. 

I'm not sure when that happened...somewhere over the next few days. I studied her. I soaked in all the little gurgles and the crying and the sighs and the sleeping noises that she made as a newborn. I memorized her face. I learned her schedule and her timing and her signs and signals. I learned what she needed. I became her mom. 

For the next few years, as I watched her learn and grow and change...I struggled with the thoughts of having another baby. I wanted to give her someone to share her childhood with. I wanted her to have a built-in best friend and playmate. I wanted to see her as a big sister. But at the same time, I wrestled with the guilt. How could I change her life and routine and her everything? How could I love another child as much as I love her? How could I split my time between Scout and another child? How is it even possible to possess twice the amount of love that I have for Scout? 

As time went by, of course, I put these thoughts to rest with the reassurance from friends and family that "you just do." I know now what they mean. I still look at Scout and get awestruck. She says things and does things that amaze me. I can watch her while she plays or learns something new and feel such a deep sense of pride that I didn't realize was there before. I love that kid. 

Jay and I were driving in the car one day a month ago or so...and Scout was in the back seat, being beautiful and charming and adorable as usual...playing at something...lost in her own world of imagination. I looked at Jay and said...."sometimes when I look at her, I stop breathing. She's just so perfect." I asked him if it was like that for him. He reached over and squeezed my hand. So much love in our hearts for this girl...I can't wait to feel that way with the next. 

35 weeks 1 day

Thirty five weeks I've been carrying you with me. I've been feeling you move and twist and stretch and kick with such amazing strength. You are usually calm and at peace during the day, especially when I'm up and moving. Around 8 pm, when things start slowing down here, you start moving. You are very active for the last part of our days, and early in the morning. 

You respond almost always to your sweet sister's voice. She hugs you and tells you she loves you every day and is very protective of you already (and your things). I'm going to miss her little arms wrapping around my belly and your gentle movements in response to her voice. I know she is excited for your arrival, but I also feel like she is starting to get a dose of reality as to the way things are going to be changing. She seems to understand her role in almost everything.

I'm sleeping, though not very well. You have me in training for the sleepless nights and fuzzy days. I awake at night from dreams of your arrival. I'm reminded quickly that you are not here yet...and get anxious about all the things I still want to do and the projects I need to finish before you get here. I know you won't mind if the curtains aren't hung, and certainly won't wait for the dresser knobs to be painted if it is time for you to come. I've hit "the wall" and don't have to remind myself to slow down...you are helping remind me of that with every step. 

You are reportedly about the size of a cantaloupe and the doctor thinks you weigh somewhere around 4.5-5 lbs. I've had contractions the last three days (none today)...which has sent your father and me into a bit of a panic...making lists of things still left to do and packing hospital bags. 

4 weeks and six days until we meet you, sweet baby. 

33 wks 6 days

Happy Father's Day.

To the man who does it all for his little girl and the one on the way. 

oh hi.

Remember that time I promised I would be posting more...and posting sneak previews of the nursery? Myeah, me too. 

fun bits of pregnancy

We always hear about the hardships of pregnancy. What about the fun bits? 

*nightly ice cream, no excuse needed.

*perfectly okay to send sig-oth to store for cheetos. even if he/she is in the middle of making dinner. or if it's 11:00 at night. 

*usually can cut in any line. bathroom? check. grocery store? check. DMV? maybe?

*accidentally fall asleep while making a grocery list? No worries. Take that nap! 

*instant table or big belly? all depends on the use. 

*guilting strangers into putting out that ciggy in your general vicinity. especially if you're eating. 

*get to hog ALL the pillows. always. 

*and the bed too. 

*need help carrying things? no problem. thank you, random stranger! 

*a valid excuse to hire movers, painters, cleaners.