on having kids.

I think I've said this before, somewhere on this blog...but I want to preface this entire post with the disclaimer that I don't think I'm better than anyone because I've had kids. There. I said it. And with that...

You think you know what music is...then you hear the first cry of your newborn baby. 

You think you know what life is...then you bring one into the world. 

You think you know what birthdays are about...then you experience a birth. 

You think you know what love is...and then you see your four year old kiss her baby sister on the head 12,000 times a day. 

You think you know what serving others is...and then you care for a newborn baby 24 hours a day. 

You think you know what selflessness is... until your sole purpose for eating, drinking and breathing is to feed a child. 

You think you know what tired is...until you've been woken from a deep sleep at 3 in the morning by the grunting and groaning of a 3-week-old who is hungry. 

You think you know what fear is...until you fear for the safety of your children. 

You think you know what pride is...then you see your happy and thriving children traversing through this world. 

So much changes when a baby is born. It's not because you change as a person...because you always held the capacity to BE the person you are now. But when a helpless child is your responsibility, you look at the world through a new lens; a sharper, clearer, magnified focus. I feel so much love on a daily basis that my heart has grown larger than my self...larger than this house...larger than this city that we live in. With all that we have gone through for the last four years....to get to this place...this destination that is "the rest of our lives".....parenthood...I just...the words fail me. "Blessed" is too vague. "Lucky" doesn't even touch it. "Fortunate" is too cheap. 

Thank you, to the man who loves me...who helped make all this possible...who shares the job, duty, and pleasure of being parents to two(!) amazing little girls. Isn't this the best? 

Name game

oh, L.A.---Scout was run over at the park by a kid on his scooter. She was fine, but I learned that the kid's name was Dylan. And his brother's name? Jagger. OBVIOUSLY. I have to say, I love both names...but having them together, is ridiculously cool. Isn't it? 

So from this day forth, I'm going to try to brainwash my sister-in-law to name her future son Jagger. Obviously.

Other fun names at the playground and park are:

Lucy
Charlie (for girls and boys)
William
Ella
Bella
Luca
Devon

Sunday, funday

Oh ya know...just hanging out with Scout, watching the VMAs.

And by "scout," I mean "rapunzel."

And by "VMAs," I mean "Lilo and Stitch."

Life as a mom is SOOOO glam.

It's like 24/7 glam.

bedtime

holy moly, there is full-fledged 13 yr. old "you ruined it!" cryelling happening in this house.

cryelling---just made that one up. but you know what it means.

Scoutings (pt. III)

Things she's said lately:

While in the bathtub--"I need you to bring me something with more life in it. It has three points like a triangle."

After wiping off excessive amounts of lip gloss---"Awww. I'm not BEAUTIFUL anymore!"

While walking to the soccer game---"Geez MOM!"

Admit to it...

Hi.
My name is Ashley.
And I'm a laundry procrastinator...

The things we wish for.

"Be careful what you wish for!" I remember hearing that phrase throughout my childhood with various intent. It was used as a parental threat after empty teenage angst-y threats. It was used as a warning for the potential of getting adverse results of a wish truly realized.

Even as an adult, we think to ourselves, "I wish..." But, we should be careful what we wish for.

I can't tell you the number of nights I wished Scout could soothe herself to sleep without my having to be right next to her. Never to the extent of that now infamous "parenting book" that shall not be named here...but I always thought it must be nice that Jay got that hour or so of solidarity every night while Scout and I battled it out before peaceful sleep.

Now that we are at that point in her development, I am mourning those nights when we would lie down and talk about our favorite part of the day; when we would snuggle until one or both of us drifted off to sleep. I hug her even more during the day than I used to. I ask her to snuggle with me on the couch in the afternoons and in the morning when she wakes up, she crawls into our bed and cuddles silently for a few minutes.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it...

Hi! Happy Friday!

Anyone else dying to know what Natalie Portman named her baby boy? Just me? Ok...



Yeah, ok...it's none of our business. I can imagine being in the spotlight...how I'd want to protect my newborn child as much as I could from the world of paparazzi, red carpets and gossip mags.

On another note...how did my house get to be such a mess this week without me even noticing? Oh yeah....her!

From

Schedules and Star Charts

Any other stay-at-home moms have their kiddos on a schedule? I'm trying to get in some activities every week and have formulated a schedule that was similar to what she did at school. It's not as rigid as it sounds; I think it is honestly more for me than for her. I want to teach her things and the only way to do that is to hold myself accountable with a list.

We've also introduced the idea of a star chart. This is how she was potty trained at school. I don't think she entirely understood it (she was 2 at the time). But we are trying it again with "good behavior," she gets a star. That is, any time we set a task for her, if she accomplishes it without a fit or general bad behavior, she gets a star. We've been having a few of those lately. And by a few, I mean, every time we ask her to rest or get ready for bed, it's an hour of all-out-war. I'm trying to teach her the importance of setting goals with this too. If she gets enough stars, we get to go to Legoland (which she loved).

I'm getting back into the swing of things here!

evolution

Scout woke up this morning and started her usual "entertain me" antics. We sleepily told her to go draw in her room while we woke up, gathered our thoughts and our coffee, and tackled the seemingly-never-ending task of organizing and putting together our new furniture. She comes in the kitchen and without a word hangs up a masterpiece on the fridge. Jay sees this and asks her what her picture is.

It's a big, scary monster and a rain cloud. Then, picture Jay's jaw dropping to the floor. It is that, exactly.

Exhibit A:



So, being the inquisitive parents we are. We said "hey, scout, can you draw a funny monster?" So, off she runs to her room as we discuss her incredible, overnight ability to draw things with legs and faces and arms, instead of just scribbles and swirls and blobs. How do they just know? Where did this ability come from?
Then, to our amazement, she emerges with this:

Exhibit B:


I've never been this proud in my life. I'm framing her subsequent series of monsters for our living room. Seriousness.

Feb. 20, 2011

holy moly. you're three.

The Flu

Scout has "the flu," so I've been home for the last two days with her while she recovers. Which, if this is the flu...I'll take it. Because it hasn't been all that bad honestly. She's had a cough and runny nose, has been REALLY lethargic, achy, and has had a little bit of a tummy issue.....but no vomiting or high fevers. I don't know if her diagnosis was correct or if my kid has a super immune system that fights off the worst of symptoms. Either way, she is appearing to be better (on day 3 now) and has had us watching Wonder Pets and playing board games with her all morning.

On a related note, I always instinctively type "flue" and then also instinctively delete the extra letter. I heart spelling.

Allergen season is on the horizon, people...so be sure to load up on your pollen solution and honey and zyrtec. It is the only thing I have grown to loathe about CenTex. Cedar fever. and Oak pollen. omg. Looking forward to our escape in a couple of weeks to Seattle...snow falling from the sky instead of pollen!

Edge of your seat announcement coming up this week. Keep your fingers and toes crossed. It might be better than Oprah's family secret revelation.

Tuesday

Jay is working tonight, so I'm left to my own devices. Scout fell asleep around 8, which has been her new normal. She's been doing so good lately with the falling asleep on her own. Having those 10 days away from home really helped with that. She's beginning to learn that she's a big girl...which makes her really sad at times. She says things like "hold me like a baby" or " I don't want to grow big." It breaks your heart, really. She is SO big. No longer a baby....we are sneaking up on THREE. Oh dear.

Journaling Day 2

I drove all morning in the rain yesterday. To see the snow and to see the two year old, of course. It was a nice time. Being alone with your thoughts (as shallow or as deep as they may be) is a fierce thing.
I was talking to Jay a couple of days before I left...we were discussing the amount of people I knew that have died versus how many he knew. It seemed to be a staggering number. What's that about? Dying?

When I arrived, I took her to my childhood bedroom to put her down for nap. She asked me to stay. 

Life always seems to get in the way....

of my blog postings.

of my need for sleep.

of the snooze button.

of plans made.

of plans made to avoid birthdays.


And that's just to name a few things I'm thinking at nine twenty two on a Thursday night.