Merry Christmas Everybody!

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The Decemberists

Current mood: cheerful
J took me to see The Decemberists lastnight at Stubbs BBQ. Amazing show...if you get the chance to see them in your area on their current Crane Wife tour, do yourself the favor and catch the show. Here's a setlist in non-sequential order for those who are fans:
The Crane Wife (all parts)
Song for Myla Goldberg
The Island (all parts)
Shankill Butcher
The Legionnaire's Lament
16 Military Wives
The Gymnast, High above the Ground
Los Angeles, I'm Yours
We Both Go Down Together
O Valencia
The Perfect Crime No. 2
Sons & Daughters
and last but not least, the delightful song on my profile: Culling Of The Fold
(during which Colin Meloy called a fan's mother on their cellphone and sang the eerie words into the phone)
There were crowd-involved vocal warmups and "la dee dah" competitions (of which, I think "stage right" was loudest). I'd forgotten how much I loved them, and seeing them live just relit a fire! Luckily we caught them!

Settling in!

We did it! We got married on August 25th, 2006! Everything was perfect, and we are settling in very nicely. We wanted to share pictures of our honeymoon and wedding with everyone, so click on the honeymoon picture and it will take you to our photoalbum online or click on this link and go view the wedding photos. Enjoy!

Honeymoon pics anyone?

If you wanna see honeymoon on the pic below and use that pic as your starting point. For some reason, the pictures uploaded in reverse order, and it took so long....i didn't want to re upload them. SO...have fun....there's like 300 of them, so it may take some time. And i give a pretty awesome tour of a Castle. That's your teaser.

Things I learned while in Switzerland...

1. Don't trust the road signs.
2. That smell you's cheese....get used to it.
3. Drive AWAY from Germany (unless you are cool with getting a strip-search on your honeymoon---by the scary Nazi guy from Indiana Jones).
4. Arrows like this "< >" on the road map mean you are going over a mountain pass.
5. Everyone smokes dirty cigs...even kids.
6. Wine tastes better from balconies with great views.
7. J is a better driver, planner, packer, and communicator in foreign languages. period. end of story.
8. It's okay to endulge in a little cheezy, touristy souveniers. Just don't be "that guy" who buys and wears the pants that say ZERMATT down the side of them in Zermatt.
9. Hiking in the snow is a new kind of romantic.
10. I'm the luckiest person in the world at any given moment.

10 days....10 ways....

Current mood: jubilant

Ten days until we "join together to celebrate the union of this woman and this man." I cannot explain enough how fortunate I feel at this moment and how humbled I am. I always dreamed of finding a love like this: a love like you hear about in love stories or in love songs, but with a sense of reality. I've gotten so swept up in love and it's so amazing. I'm so grateful to J for everything he is, and everything I know he will continue to be. He's an amazing man, and will make the most amazing husband. So this blog is for him; over the next ten days, I'm gonna add entries about my top ten favorite things about J. They are going to be little and big, cute and funny, and always loving.

Today: Day 10

I love the way that he can kick it like a kid. He dances with me in HEB, he plays boardgames and he really digs grilled cheese sandwiches.

Today: Day 9

Best cuddler in the world. No, seriously. I've never been one to actually fall asleep while cuddling until I met J. When I was younger (mom always tells this story), I would wake up in the mornings and not want to do anything for about thirty minutes but be held. Not much has changed, because now days, I wake up and I curl up next to J and let him hold me for a good thirty minutes, maybe even an hour. WIth cuddles like that, you can't help but feel protected, loved, cared for, and complete.

Today: Day 8

The way he cares and takes care.

Today: Day 7

He never forgets things that are important to me. Birthdays, anniversaries, favorite meals, favorite candies, favorite ice creams...etc. He has a really good memory and never lets special stuff slide.

Today: Day 6

I've spent nearly every day with him in the last year, and we still miss each other when we aren't together. He calls me at home during the day, and I call him at work and it never seems bothersome. That's nice.

Today: Day 5

He's adventerous. He takes me kayaking. He's taking me hiking. ONE DAY, he'll take me camping. (lil' inside joke)....He likes new things that aren't so typical. He has taken me to see musicals in the park and to concerts galore. He's taught me soccer ball tricks to impress my friends. All these things fall under the category of adventerous. :D

Today: Day 4

Best support system known to me. He's always encouraging me and giving me that extra push that I need sometimes. He's there for me in the kind of way that I don't have to reach out. He knows when I'm in need and always is first to offer a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on.

Today: Day 3

He makes me laugh. The deep-belly-kind-of-laughs that make you a happier person. He knows when to have fun and is the best at making fun. If you know me, you know how I love to goof around and crack jokes....he gets that. And he actually thinks I'm pretty funny too. :D

Today: Oh geez..Day 2!
I'm so emotional! But that's not the reason for Day 2.

He picked me. He knows me through and through and he still picked me. He knows my faults and he accepts our differences (I will always despise David Bowie because of The Labryinth) and he loves me anyways. I can't believe that I'm getting married to the most fabulous man on earth on Friday! hehe!

Today: Days left: 1!!
How exciting! One of my favorite things about J is his infinite knowledge in all things. He really is like an encyclopedia. Anything I could ever need to know is in that brain. hehe. But he's not cocky about it...and not a know-it-all...on the contrary...he's very interesting...which makes for LOTS of great conversation.

and I'm gonna go ahead with the next day:


Everything I've ever asked for in my heart of hearts was fulfilled when I met this amazing man and I am continually reminded of that. Every time I look at his sweet face, I feel complete.

17 days!

Final plans are coming together for the wedding! We are so excited! We met Saturday with our wedding planner, Gina and ran through some last minute plans. We figured out where exactly we are going to have the ceremony and how we are going to maximize the space we have. I had my final hair cut and color before the wedding, and also took some bridal portraits at the Capitol building on Saturday. Everything is coming together so easily. The portraits are GORGEOUS, and I will surely post some after the wedding, so JBarton doesn't see them. 17 days until we are Mr. and Mrs.!! Make sure you've RSVP'd!!


Current mood: curious

Confessions of....

1. I hate work...this is why: I hate being paid to write because I love to write and I hate writing what other people want me to write.
2. The couple of people that I do like at work...are quitting in the next month.
3. I 'm jealous of everyone who enjoys their work.
4. I'm dying to be creative.
5. I'm dying to be known for my creativity.
6. I think Kinky Freidman is a cool guy...but I don't think people would take a "Texan" seriously if he got elected. I think it's all a sham.
7. When people sneeze, it makes me hold my breath. Like I'm scared I'm going to breathe it in.
8. I've never thought I was pretty and I always thought it was weird when people told me so. Erin, and my mom, and J are the only people who I think really ever meant it. I think everyone else who ever said I looked nice or was pretty got mad at me for it.
9. I hate the way I just sounded when I wrote that....but it's truly how i feel, and after all..these are my confessions. If you don't like that, you can stop reading now.
10. I've not done real work for the last three days. And NO ONE notices.
11. I get strings of emails and never answer them.
12. I don't really return voicemails unless I called you first. Usually, I'll just wait to talk to you when I see you. That may be a really long time for some.
13. My landlady is CRAZY. No really...I'm always afraid to answer the door when I'm home alone and she shows up. IN fact...once I got a package for her at my house and I waited a week to call her...even tho it said "urgent" and was probably her medication. And when I did call her, I lied and said that I wouldn't be at the house so I was putting it on the porch behind the worked.
14. I'm a loud typist.
15. I have no idea how many words per minute I type. Someone once told me that 50-55 was I always put that on resumes.
16. I'm not smart. I have no idea how i graduated from college.
17. I get really frustrated at the things that I can't remember. For reals...why does my brain store certain things away that I would like to forget or that are totally useless...and then I can't remember the things that I need to? Puzzled.
18. Speaking of puzzles...I love puzzles. But i'm really serious about it and can only "puzzle" with the best.
19. I'm completely consumed with planning my wedding...after that's over...I want to do a lot of things like reading....and writing....and maybe working up enough courage to pursue a real career.
20. I registered a domain site today (with the help of J and aebax). It's called "" Guess what it's about.
21. I never thought I'd have kids cuz I thought that Jesus would come back first. But now I can't wait to have them. In fact, I've already got the names picked out for the first 25. ;)
22. I get annoyed when people call meetings at 4:55.
23. My boss has two stickers on his monitor at work. They are a dolphin and a smiley face. They are totally those ones that you get when you go to the tanning booth. this makes me laugh.
24. When in meetings, I doodle like crazy. This leads me to believe that I could make a career from painting because seriously....some of the crap that people claim is "art" is really just a doodle put on a canvas.
25. I a "writer"...that it's funny when you ask someone for an assignment length and they say "oh, I dunno...two or three paragraphs." That's like saying "oh...about three donkey kong games worth." Paragraphs are different sizes you idiot. Give me "words."
26. i looooove diamonds.
27. I also love conspiracy theories. Even the bogus ones. Especially the bogus ones.
28. I don't trust the government. I think in my old age I'll be wierd and bury my money in mason jars in the back yard because I don't trust the government. I'll probably be investigated by the IRS because I won't pay taxes for like forty years. Why? Cuz I don't trust the gov'mt.
29. 28 is especially strange given my background.
30. I think I'm the only one in my family who supports gay marriage. WHich is also pretty funny. and probably reason enough for number 28.
31. I love leggos. Did you know that the plural of leggo is leggo. Not leggae. (name that show)
32. I would like to have a HUGE collection of coffee table books. THese are the books that are meaningless and are usually mostly pictures. I would like to have one that is called "oops: accidents, forgetfullness, and errors." It would have pictures of things like fender-benders, fingers being slammed in doors, and other things that people do on accident. If there is already a book like this, you should get me one for christmas.
33. J has lost over 10 pounds and I've lost 6 in two weeks. This is not fair, but proves that you can't even have one chip or one cup of jello pudding....let alone THREE.
34. I cuss too much.
35. I edit too much.
36. I love proof reading.
37. My mind is like jello.
38. I like even numbers WAY better than odd.
39. My vision has been blurry all day. My eye is red. I'm sleepy and am at most times just staring at my computer. Therefore, I look like i'm high on something.
40. I don't do drugs.
41. I think I will have a glass of wine tonight at a country bar/concert. Does this make me the strangest being in the room? probably.
42. Our HR supervisor has on mister rogers shoes. totally.
43. Sugar-free butterscotch candies taste just as sweet as the sugary ones.
44. I haven't brushed my hair in two days. But I have washed it. I'm thinking of seeing if I can go until Saturday without brushing. This will probably happen, unless....i think about it too much and then i'll brush.
45. I've had three cups of coffee today. and I'm still SLEEPY. I need a redbull.
46. Nothing makes you feel quite as "loser-ish" as being constantly surrounded by people who are going to law school, taking Bar exams, or making thousands of dollars daily.
47. Correction: #46 is not true. There is one thing that makes you feel more loser-ish. Being paid 12 dollars an hour with no benefits like insurance or paid vacation around those people makes you feel WAY more loser-ish.
48. Tomato. Fruit? or Veggie?
49. What makes a berry a berry? Is a cherry technically a berry? Should it be "cherryberry?" Does it fit in the same family as: Strawberry? Blueberry? Rasberry?
50. Tofu hotdogs bounce like rubber balls if you drop them on the ground.

'Tis all for now!

31 days!

WOW! We can't believe that there's only 31 days left until our big day! :D It's safe to say that we are very, very, very, very excited! All the final details are coming together. J and the boys have done the tuxedo thing, I've gotten my dress altered, wedding bands are bought, and final designs for the ceremony are being discussed. We've sent out invitations! Yay! We've booked our flights and hotels for the honeymoon to Switzerland! Everything is confirmed and ready to go! We hope these next 30 days FLY by. We can't wait to be Mrs. and Mr. jbH. :D

Engagement pics!

Here's the teaser from our photographer. We shot these pics around downtown Austin on Sunday evening (June 11). We are SO happy with our photographer. He's an enthusiast who really loves what he does. We had so much fun shooting these, and we can't wait to see the final gallery. We should have links to the gallery up soon. Enjoy!


please refer to here and watch the video entitled "Food Fight."

Oh the birthday afterglow... birthday was awesome. I'm a year older and I love it.l So let me just tell you a little about my wonderful birthday. Be jealous. Be very jealous. :D
I went home to Pampa for the week after being (gasp) laid off from my job. I got to see my dad and I took kendall home with me. Mom, Kendall and I came back to Austin on Saturday, June 3. We stopped by my house to pick up J and headed to A's for a delicious dinner. Once we got back to the new house, we decided that we would have a sleepover. On the fourth, Mom, J and I woke up at 6:30 (in the a.m.) and hopped into the rented 3 row Ford Explorer and headed to the condo, picked up D/A/K and headed south on ol' I35 towards San Antonio; DESTINATION: SEAWORLD!!!
OKay, first of all...SeaWorld is so amazing and fun, no matter how old you are. I don't know who enjoyed it most! I cried thru the whole Shamu show....I was SO excited.
On my actual birthday, Monday, Mom decided to stay a day longer and we shopped until we dropped. We got flowers for the house, clothes for job interviews and engagement pictures, and more flowers for the garden. I could not think of a greater way to pass time than to plant flower boxes with my mom and plant flowers in the garden with my fiance. SO much fun. SO perfect. In the history of all birthdays, this birthday was the greatest. I have the best family and the greatest friends.

Happy Birthday to ME!

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Mom came back to Austin with me and Kendall on Saturday. Sunday we went to San Antonio for a Sea World adventure! It was SO much's some pics to show you what all we did! :D
I'll upload more pictures into an album after I get some rest! soooooo tired, and i'll be so OLD tomorrow! :D I looooooove birthdays!

We have a house!!!!

YAY!!! We found a house and fell for it. applied for it. waited for it for a week. and now....we have it!! We found out today that we can move in as soon as next week! Yippee! We are so excited! It's in the cutest "white picket" neighborhood! It's a two story 3 bedroom/2.5 bath (with a 2 car garage in the back) that was built in 2004. It has a cute little backyard with a little porch in the front and back of the house. There's only been one family that's lived in it, and it's literally spotless! So we are excited! It's in Round Rock, so anytime you are coming to visit the Austin area, and need a place to stay...give us a call, we may have some space. :D Did I mention the excitement? :D

Animadness is over!!!

Well, Animadness 2006 is over. We are currently waiting for the results to the contest. We finished up production on last Thursday (May 4) and J spent allllll day and night on Friday editing and cleaning up the footage. We mailed it off to New York City on Saturday (May 6th) and are glad to have that behind us. We are reallllly pleased with the way everything turned out.
Among interesting news that has been taking place in our world:
  • Char and Chris had thier baby yesterday! A healthy 7 pounder! Catherine was brought into this world with only 20 minutes of pushing. Baby and mom are reported to be fabulous.
  • EV numbers are up. Keep visiting the site!
  • We've picked out cakes for the wedding! SO SO excited about the cake!
  • I've picked out and ordered J's wedding band! It looks super nice, and corresponds nicely with mine.
Anywho, that's about all....keep checking back with us!

liked it so much, it became a blog...

Body: Tired of all those surveys where you list favorite this, favorite that..? Well now you get to list off everything you hate, and vent about everything that annoys you or makes you mad. Just let it all out and say as much as you want!


FRUIT: plantain. GROSS. the only reason i will not say my favorite food is cuban food. They cook it every kind of way imaginable and it is still dirty. DIRTY.

CANDY: Taffy. Why would i want to lose my teeth trying to eat that stuff?

BEVERAGE: Espresso. Think about it. ALSO dirty. Stains your teeth. Tastes like crap. literally. AND makes you CRAZY!!

COLOR: orange. I don't understand it. I look horrid in it. unless it is used as an accent color. For shirt today is pink and orange. and it looks nice. orange by itself. horrid. ALSO...maroon. It's my school color and I hate it. I hate saying it. I hate all aspects of it. It's WAY too close to purple (which I also hate).

TOWN/CITY: San Antonio or Houston. in Texas.

TV SHOW: ALF. It was WEIRD. and totally UNREAL. But still, i'd rather watch that than the apprentice. what a BORE!

MOVIE: the Matrix series. (don't throw stones)

ASPECT OF MYSPACE: all of these bulletins like "SEE WHO'S LOOKING AT YOUR PROFILE" or "THIS IS THE REAL ONE FOR CHECKING WHO VISITS YOUR MYSPACE" how am i supposed to snoop anymore? you people are idiots. if you have an enemy on here, you don't want them to know you know they know. (i agree...)

ASPECT OF AOL/YAHOO INSTANT MESSENGER: how with the new AOL you can accidentally send messages to the wrong person and not realize it.

ANIMAL: cats. and cat lovers. i'm sorry, but something's wrong with you if you love cats. they smell, pee in a box, and sit on your tv while making you earn their affection. get a dog. (wow this is sooooo dead on) BUT. Consider the sheep. THEY ARE SO STUPID and loud and pointless. plus, they taste bad. I don't care if you like Osso Bucco. It's dirty.

INSECT: Anything that stings. or bites.

BIRD: ones that chirp outside your window at the first crack of sunlight

SEASON: Spring. Shoot me in the face with allergies.

AGE OF KIDS: High schoolers. They are so pretentious and annoying.

WHAT ANNOYS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING WHEN DRIVING? tailing. and also people who are doing ten things at once while trying to drive. ONCE. My boss...haha....was talking on his cell, eating a cookie, drinking water from a water bottle, and shifting gears all at once. When what does he see? A homeless man at the corner. Deciding that he'd help this guy out...he waves the guy over to him as he is doing all of the afore mentioned things AND digging the change out of his ashtray. When the guy gets to his window, my boss (with cookie/water mixture in the mouth) goes to say something to him....gets flustered and excited about his good deed....spews cookie and water mixture all over the homeless man and then drives off. because the light turned green. HAHA. how horrible and funny at the same time.


EATING IN RESTAURANTS: Waiters who talk all the time. Usually they say unnecessary things like "oh, i'll be right back with your water/check/meal/fries." Me---"Really? Okay...just do it." I worked in a restaurant, and believe me, the best policy is to ask them if they need anything maybe once during the course of their meal...NOT every five seconds.

GOING THROUGH DRIVE-THRUS: Okay, has anyone noticed that when you go to Jack-in-the-crack that they have an automated answering message. It's always a really perky ('I'm so happy to work at Jack's!') chick and the ACTUAL person helping you is a 17 year old disgruntled prepubecent boy?

YOU'RE AT THE MALL: All stores that work on commission.

SLEEPING (OR TRYING TO SLEEP): Lights on/drawers open/doors open.

SHOWERING: COLD marble tubs and tile floors.

YOU'RE AT THE BEACH: When you get hit by waves so hard that it pulls you down and at the same time pushes your swimsuit top up...just as a father/son walk by. real nice.

YOU'RE AT THE GROCERY STORE: the lady at the HEB "how to cook" station. She has a microphone. is that necessary? she's right in front of you.

YOU'RE ON A DATE: when you don't know its a date until he shows up at your door "all dressed up" and with roses. EPH.

COOKING OR BAKING: when it doesn't turn out right. that's annoying. especially when you tried real hard to make it work.

WHAT HOUSEHOLD CHORE DO YOU HATE THE MOST? hangin up clothes. or loading the dishwasher.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAY TO DIE? drowning or suffocating. or did you hear about the lady who was trying to beat her husbands world record for deep sea diving. She got like 589 feet below the surface, pulled her string that was supposed to inflate her balloon thing, and it didn't inflate. EPH. She died.

WHAT IS YOUR WORST HABIT? I dont have any. (har har har)

WHAT FASHION TREND (PAST OR PRESENT) HAVE YOU HATED THE MOST?: Um. Dazy dukes. Are you serious with those?

WHAT POPULAR SONG: Anything by James Blunt.

WORST OR MOST HATED PICKUP LINE: "hey, i've got teeth too. We've got so much in common!"


TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GIRLS? Conversations like this "I just love Willa Ford cuz she keeps it REAL!" (true story)

TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GUYS? How they always lower their voice when answering the phone. HA.


WHAT TICKS YOU OFF ABOUT PEOPLE? in general, people's lack to communicate and empathize. (not sympathize)

Oh I should be embarassed.

1.) On my way to workout I totally jam some Madonna "Confessions on a Dancefloor." and then on my way back from my workout it's nothing but "Black Angels" cuz i'm all buff and feel like a bad-assss. :D

2.) Dental work doesn't bother me at all.

3.) I have no idea how i graduated with my degree.

4.) I have night terrors on nights when i've eaten pizza for dinner. Sometimes I can't be woken up, and I'll have the same dream OVER and OVER....

5.) I sing Bryan Adams songs in the shower. ALL the time.

6.) When I eat Chicken Express chicken tenders, i totally put the ketchup *IN* my gravy.


So, we entered this thing called Animadness. It's a contest where they give each team a character (child), a prop (pill), and a theme (greed). We have three weeks to make a 5 minute (or less) film using these characters. We've made our storyline...come up with our characters....made some clay characters....made our set....and are 1/2 way into the three weeks. Filming starts tonight. Here are some of the pics of our characters and set. You can use the three things that the contest gives you in any capacity that you so choose. We've chosen to make the pill our main character, the child's stomach our setting, and greed is in there somewhere. :) enjoy!

Well, here we go...

We've created this blog to pretty much give the family and friends a continuous update as to what is going on with us. Hey, it allows you to be passively nosey. AND it allows us to feel a little self-importance. It's like, our own space...we can post whatever we want! mwahahaha!
So what's happening with us?! Let's do a recap of the last month or so...
March 7th: We got ENGAGED. That's right, J popped the big question, and i gave the right answer. :) We've set the date for August 25th this year. The party will be here in Austin at Mercury Hall. Check out the location:
Late March: We started booking photographers, musicians (still looking), picking out registry items (target/crate and barrel), looking at flowers, cakes, caterers, and figuring other things out. I started working out (hired a trainer) and have up to this date lost inches and pounds and gained incredible muscles. :) Watch out!!
April 13th-16th: We went home for Easter. We got to see alot of the family and hang out. It was good times. We feel so blessed to be where we are and are so fortunate to have all of the family and friend support. We are so excited for the wedding, but even more excited to solidify our relationship and start our new lives together!!
April 17th: We went to see "Brothers of a Feather: An Acoustic Evening with Chris and Rich Robinson of the Black Crowes." The tickets were an engagement present for J. Front row side seats...amazing good times.

Okay...well, that's what's been happening in our private little world lately. Sure there will be more to come. :)

well that was ridiculous....

Current mood: satisfied

"Are you kidding me? Did that JUST happen!?" -- My reaction to last night's show. I bought J and I tickets (as an engagement present) to see "Brothers of a Feather An Acoustic Evening with Chris and Rich Robinson of the Black Crowes."

They opened with some familiar hits (Jealous Again and Wiser Times), threw in some covers ("Sin City" - The Flying Burrito Band; "Let it Be Gone" - The Grease Band; "Over the Hill - John Martyn, "No Expectations" - Rolling Stones) and some solo project songs (Leave it Alone--Rich's; Train Robbers--Chris's) as well as some new stuff (Magic Rooster Blues :)) and ended with the most fabulous rendition of "She Talks to Angels" I've heard. The crowd wasn't moving, so they came back out and played "Willin'" by Little Feat (Inara George's dad :)).

Chris Robinson (minus the drugs, plus the facial hair) was an entertainer between songs...making jokes about square dancing, football and the heat wave that came through town yesterday. His voice made my head go numb (weird, i know, but there's no other way to explain it). Rich was amazing on the guitar... his fancy fingerwork was impressive to say the least.

Can't wait 'til they come back and play with the entire group in July! :)

Complete Set List:

MAGIC ROOSTER BLUES (1st time played)
- encore -

*the other video i had in here was messing up all over the here ya go. Check out some groooooooooovy dance moves "a la chris robinson" :---D Yes, our souls are singing. loud and clear.

Yay for Yay!

J's videos for Expert Village are being featured in a Google video blog spot! AND a friend of the band Goldenbear recently saw J's video for their song "10,000 Orchestras" on Austin Music Network!

How proud am I?!

Also, J's started his own production company...called Full 90 Productions! Check out his profile, and see his videos! :) Also, visit Expert Village and check out his work! Here's the link to the Google Video spotlight:

so going home tomorrow...

Current mood: okay

Dad's not doing well. He's been sick for some time. Can't eat. Depressed. He's misplaced 25 lbs. since Christmas. He's been going to the doctors, getting tests run...

I am one of those kids in the family that started to view my parents as my best friends and not so much my parents when I was in college. I'm very close to my family and my parents are the kind of people who truly love me no matter what happens. No matter what retarded thing I do (like calling Ms. Cleo my freshman year), or how bad I mess up (like failing classes in college), or what I say ("dang__ is a bleep sometimes."), they laugh with me and cry with me and generally help me out of my mess.

It's really weird when you see your parents sick and you start to think what would happen if they weren't around. I know for a fact, that my world would be a completely different place, if not for my dad. I never was a daddy's girl growing up. I was kinda a loner. I liked being held for the first thirty minutes I was awake and then I didn't want to be touched. But then I start to think of all those memories of falling asleep on the couch and being carried to my bed by my dad, half asleep. I remember feeling so safe when he tucked me in so tight. And how great it felt just to know that my parents were sleeping across the hall from me if I ever needed them. I see my brother with Kendall, and I think of how it must have been for my dad. I think I've definetly become a daddy's girl in the last couple of years of my life. He's the guy I can go to and talk about anything. He's probably the only one in my family who can speak rationally to me and get me to think clearly when I'm throwing a fit. I look forward to him giving me away and playing with my kids. Everything I do now is to make him proud of me.

On the other hand, I'm definetly a mom's gal too. I talk to my mom every day. EVERY day, at least once a day and that doesn't include emails. I guess it's just nice to have them involved in every part of my life. Though it can be annoying at times, I know they mean the best and want the best for me (now more than ever). My mom was always the type of mom to put a note in my lunchbox. And now that I'm 23 (almost 24), she still does things like this in her own way. Example: today when I got back from lunch, there was a two line email in my inbox that said "I can't wait for you guys to get here. I"ll call you tonight." Like I didn't know she would call tonight. I love it.

I'm so lucky to have my parents and I couldn't think of a better pair for me or my brother. They have set great examples (both in thier triumphs and their faults). I know that Dustin is a great parent because our parents were so great. They have taken care of me in so many ways that I would not hesitate to do the same for them. I would feel blessed. I know I kid them a lot, and give them a hard time, but I really do love them. It's such a cool place to be in when you can think of your parents as your equals, and they think of you as the same.

So we are going home tomorrow, and I can't wait to see my parents. Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers.