9 months (April 2013)

A recap. 

The end of March and beginning of April 2013: 

Spring has sprung in the neighbordhood. The rose bushes are glorious and the loquat trees are heavy with their fruit. We were obsessed with the House Finch who hatched her eggs on our front porch, and the daddy bird who brought them fresh worms each morning. 

Sloane has began saying "Mama." Or more accurately..."mamamamamamama."  She was nine months old on April 12th. She's standing more and more and I can't keep her away from the dining room chairs. Or the toy piano. Or the couch. 

Scout was big into rollerskating and fashion. She was just over five years old. She enjoyed her "Spring Break" from Chalk Preschool and hung out with our neighbor's grand-daughter who was visiting from the Bay Area. We picked up our enrollment packet for Kindergarten, and practiced walking to the school. Scout is so excited to start school and talks about it constantly. Jay and Scout have been reading C.S. Lewis  books and are starting Prince Caspian. 

Jay and the girls enjoyed Saturday/Sunday morning walks to Starbucks...down the hill and back up with breakfast in-tow for a spoiled Mama who got to sleep in on such occasions.  Though it worried me a little (that Jay was going to hurt himself pushing both girls up that Mar Vista hill), I totally appreciated the effort and the joy that it brought all of them. Jay celebrated his favorite holiday....Record Store Day on 4/20/13. He's found a new record shop on the West side, Touch Vinyl and frequents it often. 

My mom (Marmee) paid us a visit for the weekend. While Jay shopped for records, we shopped for a scooter for Sloane and found her a Minnie Mouse "Go-Go," a toy she immediately fell in love with. We drove the girls to Laguna Beach for a beach picnic. It was a little on the chilly side, but that didn't stop us from playing in the beautiful, blue ocean. Scout got her hair cut and we got in a date night before mom had to head back to Tx. 

8 months.

On Monday, my little blue-eyed baby turned 8 months old. Hard to believe that we are SO close to her first birthday. She sits up tall and reaches for things to pull herself up to standing. She throws toys off of her highchair and looks for them on the ground. When her sister can be heard in the other room, she looks for her around the corner. She scoots, army crawls, and wiggles to get herself where she wants to be...in addition to her rolling. She only has two teeth, but is working on the top two. Her hair is thick and can now hold a clip for a little while. She naps twice a day (usually), takes one bottle at night (but is still mostly breastfed), eats three square meals (fruit/cereal, fruit/veg, meat/veg/fruit), and enjoys a baby Mum-Mum once or twice a day. She weighs around 18 pounds (still a little bean). She can say "ma-ma" and prefers to say "da-da." She gives "kisses" on demand and laughs hysterically when tickled or teased. I love spending my days with her and her sister, and am feeling especially lucky to live in this moment that is "her first year."

Tanzania Glenn sends us songs from Africa

Yesterday morning, we woke up to a wonderful message from Glenn (my father-in-law, who's a Peace Corps Volunteer living in Tanzania, Africa). He'd been telling us over the Christmas break that he'd been spending some time writing songs while he's away. He uploaded some of them, and I have to say, they've been stuck in my head since listening to them. Specifically this really, really, really lovely song about his grandkids. There's so much love in my kid's lives. They are some of the luckiest people on the planet.

Write something

So I have this file in my computer called "Write Something." It's where I go when I want to write fearlessly. It's where my most personal thoughts go and become something that isn't mine anymore; that is, they become relatable.

I'm writing today because I need to write. It reminds me that I'm able to be my own person. That I can share something with you guys and maybe it becomes relatable to you. I feel relevant. I feel like I have a place in this crazy word world. 

 I've been in such a great routine. The girls are sleeping well. Behaviors are predictable. Most things come with ease (as much as can be granted with an 8 month old and a five year old). But inside, I've got this sense of urgency to live. To be uber-present. I take pictures so that I'll remember every little life moment. My instagram feed blows up with 11 pictures a day, but that's nothing compared to what's stored on my phone/computer/camera. I want to go outside and lay in the grass and connect with the earth...to get "grounded" literally...to chase my oldest and carry my youngest everywhere we go. 

I feel like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon. Maybe it's because Spring has sprung here in SoCal. Maybe it's because I'm finally coming out of the fog of Sloane's newborn-ness. Maybe it's because we are on the verge of BIG new things with Scout. Maybe it's because I'm at the beginning of a new decade and a new stage in my (parenting) life. 

Whatever it is, I'm embracing it, hoping for the best, and working towards that goal. What's new with you? 

Five years.

Seriously? One day, your birthday will maybe not come as a complete and utter shock to me. Okay, maybe not. This year, you've grown in so many ways.

We moved into a new house a few months after your 4th birthday. Here, in this house that we call home, you've learned to ride a bike (with training wheels). You've learned to put yourself to sleep. You've learned to ride a scooter. You're learning to roller skate. You helped your dad build a video game console in the garage. You love to play like you are riding your bike to Whole Foods to get snacks for us. You helped us decorate for Christmas this year. You wrote a "welcome home sister" sign to hang in our hallway.

You started preschool this year. You have flourished in your time there. You are such a sweet friend and I've never heard anything but praise about your interactions with other kiddos there. You're readying yourself for Kindergarten. You can write almost anything. You're starting to read...sounding out words and recognizing simple ones. It blows our minds when you read words to us.

You are able to do simple life-skill tasks for yourself. You are pretty self-reliable in the bathroom, though you still need help with washing your hair. You can brush your teeth, go potty, and wash your body without much help. You can put a clip or headband in your hair, though you still prefer to have wild, crazy and free hair.

You're quite the fashionista. You know how to put outfits together, and sometimes it's difficult to talk you into a more practical choice so we let you get away with pairing mismatched patterns, fancy dresses with cowgirl boots, and sometimes weather-defying outfits. We love your style. Sometimes, you pick our outfits...and help us become "stylish." You are the first to point out someone's fashion. 

You love to swim....you're in your fifth month of swim lessons. You took your first "survival test" this summer. I was eight or nine months pregnant when you tested. It was slightly terrifying for me. I couldn't believe your ear-to-ear grin after your coach picked you up and threw you in the deep end (!) of the Olympic-size pool...in your clothes and shoes. You went under, and came up and immediately went into your "back-float"....with the biggest smile on your face. Your teacher and all the other coaches in the pool started cheering for you. Your coach jumped in and together, you guys swam to the edge of the pool and had a good time jumping off of the diving platforms. Now you are working on your streamline, and your favorite move is "monkey-airplane-rocket." 

You started ballet (again). We tried last year, but you were SO painfully shy. However, since we moved to Mar Vista, we drive past a dance school every day on our way home from Preschool. At first, I asked if you'd like to try again. You quickly answered with a "no!" But then, as time went by, you started talking about it more and more. Finally, a few weeks ago, you asked us to take you there for a dance class. We tried it and you LOVED it. You stayed in the classroom for the whole hour. You loved everything about it. You played, but you paid attention and learned a lot during the first class. You can't wait to go back. 

Happy birthday, baby girl. (You hate when I call you "Baby." But I do it, regardless...because I kind of love when you say "Mooooom. I'm not a BABY!") 

6 months.

Sitting practice on the morning of your 1/2 birthday

Peas- you love them, despite the silly face

Waving goodbye to Texas (1/3/13)

5 things about babies that are the best

that thing where they smear cereal/food in their eyebrows or hair

that thing where they are so sleepy, and lay their head on your shoulder

that thing where they look at you and you can tell they are trying to say something, but they can't speak yet, and all that comes out is "nananananananana...nana?"

thumb sucking (it's still gross to me, but whatevs...it's pretty stinkin' adorable)

the look they give you when you give them a new food...like "seriously, with this?"

in response

My child is five months old. But I can't write about that because I feel the need to say something else. 

If you bring up the massacre of children in front of my child, I will ask you to stop talking. I want my child to be nervous on her first day of Kindergarten because she's nervous about Kindergarten...NOT because she's worried someone might come into her school and shoot her (I can't believe that is a possibility and I even have to type/say that). Please don't talk about this in front of small children. PLEASE. 

If you have guns in your home, I'll ask you to lock them up or remove them before I'm comfortable bringing my children there. Sorry, that's my way of adjusting to the new normal.  

If you think the answer to violence with guns is MORE guns, I'm making more than mental notes this time. 

If you feel the need to post thoughtless videos/pictures/comments on "ways to stop massacres"....I will remove traces of our friendship (online, in person, whatever...wherever). 

If you think that your right to guns is more important than my child's right to live, I've got a problem with you. 

If you think that it was God's will that led to children being murdered, you're delusional. 

If you think that prayer in school would stop murderers from busting in and killing people, sadly, you're wrong. On that note, also, if you think there isn't prayer in school, you're wrong and need to look at the REAL issues in our schools: EDUCATION. 

In a perfect world, there would be no need for guns. But since we live in a world where they do exist and bad people exist and bad things happen to good people who need to be defended....there is a need for guns. There needs to be laws and regulations and rules for those guns to exist in our society. Take a class. Do a practical exam. Give character statements. Meet certain health requirements. Do it all again in five years. Have a criminal record? No gun for you. Meet all the requirements? Own a gun? LOCK IT UP. 

In the words of my GENIUS husband: "I really, really, REALLY love soccer. But if people started using soccer balls to kill people? I'd be the first to start advocating regulation or banning of soccer balls. Nobody's life is less important than my right to own a gun." 

I've heard several people say that "Guns aren't the issue. If he hadn't used guns, he would've used bombs." If guns aren't the issue...then mental health is. Let's all agree that there is a discussion that needs to happen there. Over the decades, there have been improvements in the ethical treatment of those with mental illness...let's not overlook those, but let's do better. If a person is struggling with a psychotic disorder, say something. Let's get systems in place to protect sick people as well as their potential victims. Let's get a treatment plan together that works. But also, for the record, I'm anti-bomb as well. 

If I seem angry, you're right. I am. I'm angry because I know there will come a day in my child's life when she asks me "why?" And I'm angry that I'll have to EXPLAIN school shootings. I'm angry that on my child's first day of public school...I'm going to be worried about her safety. I'm ANGRY that this isn't the first time a person used a gun to kill children in a school and there's nothing being done about it. 

Friday, I was sad. So sad that I curled up in a ball and wept until I fell asleep. I couldn't look at an adult without wanting to hug and sob on their shoulder. Saturday I was in shock. I didn't want to believe that Friday happened. I ignored the television, the internet, and the newspapers...until I tucked in my kids. Then I read the children's names. I felt sadness again. Today, I woke up angry. I signed petitions. I type with fervor, urgency, and the need to see things done. My hope lies in Monday. 

Scoutings

Oh, my Scout. You're my little laugh-a-minute. 

Last week, we were visiting Texas. I took you and your aunt Allie and cousin Maddie, and of course Sloane to eat at the Salt Lick. Some good 'ol fashioned BBQ before we returned to the land of Baja. We enjoyed a nice meal and then piled back in the car, full of smokey and savory meat, cobbler, cole slaw, and sweet tea. 

Sloane sat in the middle carseat, while you were behind the driver, and Maddie was on the other side. Your sister was having a rare moment where she felt like screaming in the car...the entire way home. So, you went about your Big Sister duties. You tried singing (because it usually works). You tried laughing (hoping that she'd catch on and laugh, too). You tried crying (hoping to "outcry" the baby). You tried giving her a lovey. You tried a pacifier. I think at one point you even offered your own hand for her to chew on (her very favorite thing ever). 

When none of these things worked, you gave up and decided that she was just going to cry for a minute. I turned back and saw you holding her pacifier. You said "it's not working!" I told you that it was fine, that sometimes babies just cry for no reason other than to cry or that we couldn't fix the problem right then. 

The next thing I know, you were laughing...and a in a mischievous voice I heard: "I'm using her slobber to paint her face like an Indian!" 

I'm not sure your sister appreciated it at the moment...but this story will make her smile in years to come. Like, a lot of years. 

Fourth month

You've entered your fourth month. Everything is a dream. You've started rolling. I was showing you off to my sweet friends over Thanksgiving break. I told them you were rolling from back to tummy but then getting so frustrated because you couldn't figure out what to do next. As soon as I put you down on their blanket...you rolled....back to front and front to back and back to front and front to back...straight off the blanket. You're a nut! 

As soon as we get a handle on you and your ability....you throw us for a loop! It seems like every milestone is at an inclinate pace (but you are right on track). You're working on sitting up by yourself. You prefer sitting in the bumbo chair. You think your sister is hilarious. You can focus on things across the room. This morning, I took you on an emergency trip to Whole Foods (out of diapers) and as soon as I opened the back hatch to get your stroller out, you saw my face and started giggling. It's hard not to break eye contact with you when you do things like that. Your smile is contagious. You are starting to warm up to strangers. Up until a few weeks ago, you were not impressed with other's attempts at getting you to smile. You are very stoic that way. Now, you'll smile at the waiter, the cashier, Scout's teachers, other kids, animals, etc.

You met more of your extended family this month. We went to Austin for the Thanksgiving holiday and to see your Bepaw who returned from Tanzania to spend time with his four grandchildren (two of which are new to him). You were quite surprised by the familiarity in his face and the difference in his voice. But then, you charmed him with your smile. He admitted to us that if the two grandkids had been on their way before he left, he would have had a hard time making his commitment to the Peace Corp a reality. We are glad, however, that he has had this opportunity. We are so proud of him and all that he's doing. It goes to show that you should never give up on dreams...no matter how "out of the norm" and difficult they may seem. I hope that you will learn that from him and other people in your life.

You also met two sets of your great-grandparents. You are one lucky and loved little lady. You received your Texas state seal baby rattle (a family heirloom item that all the babies have on my side of the family) and your knitted-by-hand Christmas stocking with your name on it (something everyone has on Jay's side of the family).

You have found your toes. You love reaching for them every chance you get. You've managed to get them in your mouth a few times, but still prefer your thumb. I thought I'd never encourage a thumb sucker, by the way. But funny...it has nothing to do with wether I've encouraged it or not. You were born sucking your hand (actually have ultrasound photos of you doing this in-utero) and you will be a thumb-sucker, regardless of all the times we offer you a pacifier.

I can't wait for this next month. You will meet more of your extended family as we travel to Texas.  I can't wait to share your first Christmas. I can't wait for you to try new things (food! sitting up! starting to crawl!). You are truly amazing babe.

elephant

brave girl

3 months old

You technically turned three months old on Friday. Here it is Tuesday, and I'm just now getting around to writing this post. To say you've been keeping us busy would be an understatement. For such a tiny person, you sure want to get up and going! Your Marmee came to visit this weekend, and said it perfectly when she noted that if you could get up and run, you'd be out the door already! You are a wiggly baby, and I fear what that means for your future. You will probably be fiercely independent...which is a sure way to break a mama's heart with a bittersweet mixture of pride and melancholy. But for now, you are still our tiny one. You've rolled over twice, but have shown no interest in doing it repeatedly...yet. You laughed for the first time today. 

You have a high-pitched squeal that is so adorable when it shows up in the midst of your crying, I can't help but smile. It is also omnipresent in your daily babble and now those sweet giggles. I love starting our day with a chat session....and when I listen to you goo and guuuh, I imagine you are telling me about your dreams and how much you love being a part of our family. You are grasping for everything now...intentionally. You are quite enthused about playing with your rattles and various toys. You have learned to soothe to sleep with the help of your "lovey baby," as Scout calls it. I never believed in babies having an attachment to such things this early on (your sister did not attach to her ducky until probably 6 months old or so). But, oh my, how you've proved me wrong. You're a scooter. You've started propelling yourself across your crib and playmat using your feet. We've since relocated your playmat from the couch or bed to the floor and your crib bumpers are now off (caught you trying to chew on one the other night, and your daddy quickly removed them--no fun for you, I know). 

You are still waking up once or twice during the night for feedings...but call me crazy, I don't mind it. I'm not trying to get you to cut back. With your sister, we had her on a schedule by now...but with you...we've let you decide your own schedule. Call it "2nd child ease," or whatever...but I'm noticeably more laid back with you. I think it's good for us.  

We took you to the beach for the third time this weekend. You didn't sleep the entire time we were there, as you have the previous two times. You sat up and listened to the waves that your sister splashed in. You seemed to enjoy it...you were happy for the two hours we were there. I can't wait until you are also splashing in the waves with your big sister. You guys are going to have so much fun. 

We also took you to the pumpkin patch at Underwood Farm in the Simi Valley. We went there last year with your sister, and looking back at the pictures, it's hard to believe how much she's grown. And how you are here. And we are all a family of four, together. We love you so much and are so thankful for you, our silly girl. 

kids, talking, jealousy, etc.

Scout was in the dining room and yelled "GOOOO" to which Sloane replied (from the living room) "GOOOOOOOOOO." That thing about kids having their own language? Apparently it still applies if they are four years apart.

Sloane's been using inflection, volume and Guh's and Goo's and Gah's lately to express herself. At times, she really seems to be holding a conversation with me or her sister. She will say "guh" and then wait for your response and then answer back "guh." The other day, this happened no less than ten times in a row. 

Scout reads to Sloane when she is upset. She helps make tummy time more fun by getting on her tummy as well. She helps me get dinner made because she entertains her sister by dancing, singing, talking, tickling, etc. 

She also has startled her sister into crying by jumping out from behind the couch with a "boo!" or two. She's becoming a little bit jealous of my time spent with Sloane, especially on Mondays. That or she really knows how to work it in order to get Menchie's dates with mom. Either way, I'm happy to oblige when I can. 

Jealousy is definitely part of our day, but it isn't the part we remember before tucking in at night. We talk about our favorite parts of our day...the silly parts, the fun parts, the exciting things. The cplayful times and the love are the things that stick. 

tumblr/instagram photos

for those interested, i post all of our instagram photos here: http://someblogiread.tumblr.com/

Parenting, 2.0

So you think you want to have kids? There are a few tests to see if you can hack it. 

1. Can you discern words from toddler babble?

2. Can you wipe a four year old while burping an infant?

3. Can you spend 45 minutes of your day making a rainbow wand out of paper? Using only a glue stick, safety scissors and a cut out from DisneyJr.com? Without cursing? 

4. Can you read maps drawn by a four year old that are supposed to lead you to a park?

to be continued....

Two months.

Two months ago, you were born. Your life has brought so much joy to ours. I watch you sleep (yes, you do that a lot still) and wonder what we would have ever done without you. I try not to dwell on it, but yes, you are our miracle. Your soul was meant to be realized. You were meant to be in our family. We are so lucky to have you. 

You started smiling this month. Actually smiling, and not just in your sleep. I wake you up every morning, lift you up in the air and you smile. I wipe your face with a cloth and you smile. Your sister talks to you in her high-pitched voice and you smile. Your daddy comes to your rescue and you reward him with a smile. Thank you for that. It makes all the hard work SO worth it. 

You got to meet your "aunty esmy" this month. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...there is nothing like sharing your child with your friends and family for the first time. It amplifies everything. Every emotion you have for both people comes into clear focus and then is made bigger. When you see them together, it speaks so loudly to your heart: "this is the good stuff." Of course, your sister was excited to share you with Esmy and Esmy with you. What a special thing for you girls...to be loved so much by so many people. 

I didn't think it could happen, but your sister loves you more every day. She is always saying how "adorable" you are. Everything you do is adorable. Messing your diapers is adorable. Spitting up? Adorable. Crying? SUPER adorable. She shows you off to all of her friends at school. She shows you off to her teachers...she especially likes showing them what outfit she picked out for you on school days. She loves showing you off to random strangers at the LK Swim Academy. She is so super proud of you. And that is adorable. 

Keeping it REAL in here

So I was talking with a sweet friend today about our postpartum experiences. It can really be night and day, can't it? I mean, I knew that already...because of the differences between postpartum Scout and postpartum Sloane....but I had no idea how different they really are. 

So, we were talking about sleep, the lack of, our bodies and how they are different now, healing, mental clarity, hormones, family visiting, and life changing experiences....and I thought I'd take this time to document something I didn't really care to even talk about after Scout was born: my body image. 

I've never been a super skinny girl...well, I'll take that back...I never thought of myself as a super skinny girl...but I look back and I was pretty skinny for a figure 8 shape....in high school. So, after having a baby, I realize my body is not exactly the best it's ever been. Naturally. And I didn't really care about it after Scout's birth as much as I do this time. Maybe because I'm thirty. Maybe because my husband is totally smokin' hot right now with his weight loss and I want to look good, too. Maybe it's because we live in LA. I dunno. Whatever it is...I wanted to document this as my starting point because I honestly feel like I'm ready to get in shape, and I've got the energy, the time, the means to do so. Also...my husband is smokin' hot and I don't want to be his frumpy housewife. Have I mentioned that yet? 

So here it is: photo proof...I've still got a little belly...7 weeks postpartum. It's a little jiggly. It's gross if I try to squeeze into my pre-pregger's pants. It's got stretch marks and it compliments my lovely child-bearing hips. and thunder thighs. So these are my problem areas...and the places I want to see some 

shrinkage. 

No, I'm not sucking in. 

No, I didn't make the bed today.

Stats: 

5'4"

153 lbs

6 weeks 5 days postpartum

Size L/10 (it's not attractive/muffin top action)

Not really fitting into anything non-maternity on bottom

Some maternity on top, mostly pre-pregnant tops

Exercise: VERY mild. Talking walks with my 4 year old at this point. 

on having kids.

I think I've said this before, somewhere on this blog...but I want to preface this entire post with the disclaimer that I don't think I'm better than anyone because I've had kids. There. I said it. And with that...

You think you know what music is...then you hear the first cry of your newborn baby. 

You think you know what life is...then you bring one into the world. 

You think you know what birthdays are about...then you experience a birth. 

You think you know what love is...and then you see your four year old kiss her baby sister on the head 12,000 times a day. 

You think you know what serving others is...and then you care for a newborn baby 24 hours a day. 

You think you know what selflessness is... until your sole purpose for eating, drinking and breathing is to feed a child. 

You think you know what tired is...until you've been woken from a deep sleep at 3 in the morning by the grunting and groaning of a 3-week-old who is hungry. 

You think you know what fear is...until you fear for the safety of your children. 

You think you know what pride is...then you see your happy and thriving children traversing through this world. 

So much changes when a baby is born. It's not because you change as a person...because you always held the capacity to BE the person you are now. But when a helpless child is your responsibility, you look at the world through a new lens; a sharper, clearer, magnified focus. I feel so much love on a daily basis that my heart has grown larger than my self...larger than this house...larger than this city that we live in. With all that we have gone through for the last four years....to get to this place...this destination that is "the rest of our lives".....parenthood...I just...the words fail me. "Blessed" is too vague. "Lucky" doesn't even touch it. "Fortunate" is too cheap. 

Thank you, to the man who loves me...who helped make all this possible...who shares the job, duty, and pleasure of being parents to two(!) amazing little girls. Isn't this the best? 

A name.

People always ask 

Ada.

German- "nobility"

Hebrew- "adornment"

As I'd mentioned in another post, we had picked out a name for our second daughter when Scout was still a baby. We also knew that we wanted to do the same naming scheme that we followed with Scout--meaning, something more traditional for a first name to go with her more contemporary middle name. We also leaned towards German names or spellings in homage to Jay's surname and heritage. I was always a fan of Anna and Adelaide. Jay has always liked Elizabeth, but also liked the sound of "A" names with two or three syllables. 

We came across Ada on a name list and put it on our short list. Then, signs began popping up everywhere for us. Ada is often used in short for Adelaide or Adeline. Adelaide is the name of the street directly behind our first California address...a historical street in Santa Monica that offers great views of the Topanga Canyon and Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, and Malibu beaches. 

Ada was the name of Lord Byron's second daughter...Ada Lovelace, who is often credited as the first computer programer. On our honeymoon in Switzerland, we visited the Chateau De Chillon on the shore of Lake Geneva. Lord Byron's famous "The Prisoner of Chillon" was inspired by Bonivard's captivity in the dungeons of Chillon from 1530-1536. Lord Byron also carved his name into one of the pillars in the very dungeons where Bonivard was held. 

Her initials are ASH...the same as the first three letters in my name and also the same initials as Scout. 

Sloane. 

American English- "fighter, warrior"

Sloane is a name that Jay has liked since he was introduced to the Canadian rock band (Sloan). 

Also, the name of Ferris Beuller's girlfriend in the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." 

Also, the name of E's girlfriend in the HBO show "Entourage." 

But the thing that solidified the name for me, was a coincidental conversation I had with my mom a few years go. She was working for a home healthcare company, and ran across Sloan as a surname. She mentioned it to me for use as a baby name, not knowing that we had been in love with the name for a couple of years. It's those little signs that point to "yes" for me. I remember when we were thinking of names for Scout....I mentioned that we really liked "Scout" for a girl to my parents. My dad said "I don't care what you name her, we'll call her Scout." Haha.