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Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July! And happy birthday to my lovable grindad!
We spent our long weekend doing this:

and this:

and also attended fireworks show and soccer game, care of the L.A. Galaxy! Go Galaxy!

The things we wish for.

"Be careful what you wish for!" I remember hearing that phrase throughout my childhood with various intent. It was used as a parental threat after empty teenage angst-y threats. It was used as a warning for the potential of getting adverse results of a wish truly realized.

Even as an adult, we think to ourselves, "I wish..." But, we should be careful what we wish for.

I can't tell you the number of nights I wished Scout could soothe herself to sleep without my having to be right next to her. Never to the extent of that now infamous "parenting book" that shall not be named here...but I always thought it must be nice that Jay got that hour or so of solidarity every night while Scout and I battled it out before peaceful sleep.

Now that we are at that point in her development, I am mourning those nights when we would lie down and talk about our favorite part of the day; when we would snuggle until one or both of us drifted off to sleep. I hug her even more during the day than I used to. I ask her to snuggle with me on the couch in the afternoons and in the morning when she wakes up, she crawls into our bed and cuddles silently for a few minutes.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it...

Time apart

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not sure about that, but I know that the absence of my friends and family seems to bring a sort of longing in my heart that can be tangible pain at times. The hardest part of this new endeavor thus far has been the missing of family and friends.

This weekend, I was able to reverse the day-to-day and spend time with my besties and away from my husband and daughter. The excitement of spending two whole days with my friends with undivided attention plus TexMex seemed almost too much to bear. Then, just two days before I was set to return to the land of scorching heat and humidity, the parental guilt kicked in. I felt horrible for leaving J&S and knew I would be missing them the entire time I was gone.

That didn't stop me from having an excellent time.

But it did make for some really conflicting moments of internal dialogue standing in security checkpoints. I almost felt sorry for the guard in Houston who asked me how my day was. I almost came apart standing in front of him--not what he asked for that day when he clocked in, I'm sure. I cried from the minute we arrived at the airport until almost two hours into my flight. I couldn't help it. I missed my friends, and wanted to smuggle them onboard with me.

I love our life here in Cali. I love this incredible opportunity we've been given, but if I could have my friends here, it would be perfect. I'm looking forward to making new connections here with new friends and old.

On another note, while I was gone....someone started going to bed by herself, using the word "Ye-ah" (think flava-flave) and somehow, her hair got curlier. How much fun did they have while Mom was out of the house?! Pirate baths, playdates, new parks explored and bagel Sunday! Luckies!

Things I'm missing:

1. Friends/Family (duh)
2. Queso (specifically, Magmud and Cowboy Queso)
3. Hopdoddy burgers (followed by...)
4. Amy's Ice Cream/Hey Cupcake!
5. Barton Springs on HOT summer days
6. Random nights on SoCo with my besty
7. Chuys

That's all for now.

p.s.: SERIOUSLY. I could cry. right now.

Fashion Files

Scout has developed an ecclectic fashion sense in the last couple of months. Dressing up used to be her favorite past-time. Now, literally dressing herself, is one of her favorite activities in our day. She loves accessories...hats, necklaces, scarfs, and shoes...this girl loves them all. Here are some recent pictures, in various formats.




In honor of one missed...

We are actively fundraising for Relay for Life this year.

The team name is Accolades for Brad.

If you would like to donate follow this link.

Happy Father's Day....

To all the daddies out there. And especially to the one of this girl:

Without whom, I don't know what I'd do.

Hi! Happy Friday!

Anyone else dying to know what Natalie Portman named her baby boy? Just me? Ok...



Yeah, ok...it's none of our business. I can imagine being in the spotlight...how I'd want to protect my newborn child as much as I could from the world of paparazzi, red carpets and gossip mags.

On another note...how did my house get to be such a mess this week without me even noticing? Oh yeah....her!
From

Not so wordless wednesday...

So excited. I purchased a ticket yesterday to fly to Houston to see some friends and to also see this:


Checking things off the list...



Schedules and Star Charts



Any other stay-at-home moms have their kiddos on a schedule? I'm trying to get in some activities every week and have formulated a schedule that was similar to what she did at school. It's not as rigid as it sounds; I think it is honestly more for me than for her. I want to teach her things and the only way to do that is to hold myself accountable with a list.

We've also introduced the idea of a star chart. This is how she was potty trained at school. I don't think she entirely understood it (she was 2 at the time). But we are trying it again with "good behavior," she gets a star. That is, any time we set a task for her, if she accomplishes it without a fit or general bad behavior, she gets a star. We've been having a few of those lately. And by a few, I mean, every time we ask her to rest or get ready for bed, it's an hour of all-out-war. I'm trying to teach her the importance of setting goals with this too. If she gets enough stars, we get to go to Legoland (which she loved).

I'm getting back into the swing of things here!

favorite things

The new condo we are living in has some pretty awesome "old hollywood" details. Built in the 1940's, this building is as sturdy as it comes. Gorgeous refinished hardwood floors, updated fixtures and granite countertops are just a few of the reasons we fell in love with this place. There are some other little details that add some charm to the place. Here they are:


Tiny drawers in the kitchen. Useful for tools, coozies, and parchment paper.


Cool crank-to-open windows and rose bushes all around the front and side of our condo. lovely.


Swanky new sink.


Here's our peep hole. Very cool.


Old school mailboxes. So cool. Also, tiny.


The front courtyard. We're all the way at the back, which is great. Lots of room to play, no street noise, and beautiful landscaping.

evolution

Scout woke up this morning and started her usual "entertain me" antics. We sleepily told her to go draw in her room while we woke up, gathered our thoughts and our coffee, and tackled the seemingly-never-ending task of organizing and putting together our new furniture. She comes in the kitchen and without a word hangs up a masterpiece on the fridge. Jay sees this and asks her what her picture is.

It's a big, scary monster and a rain cloud. Then, picture Jay's jaw dropping to the floor. It is that, exactly.

Exhibit A:



So, being the inquisitive parents we are. We said "hey, scout, can you draw a funny monster?" So, off she runs to her room as we discuss her incredible, overnight ability to draw things with legs and faces and arms, instead of just scribbles and swirls and blobs. How do they just know? Where did this ability come from?
Then, to our amazement, she emerges with this:

Exhibit B:


I've never been this proud in my life. I'm framing her subsequent series of monsters for our living room. Seriousness.

Infertility.

(If this is too much info for you....color me "shocked that anyone still reads this blog")

A few random thoughts about infertility:

*buying (wasting money) on pregnancy tests makes me crazy. The amount of money spent in the last two years equals somewhere around $300. Probably upwards of that. And I'll never shake the feeling that I really want a fruit roll-up after opening the eerily similar packaging.

*initial consultations (not covered by insurance) start at $300. or $100 for 10 minutes up to $550 for an hour plus the cost of all of your ultrasounds ($300 per). And you don't even get free cookies or a commemorative dish or logo-water bottle. Then, let's talk about the costs of IVF, IUI, and other fertility treatments....oy!

*It all sucks, but we do it anyway. The end result is so totally worth it.

Ms. Maebe




If you've ever wanted a dog that could retrieve a ball or frisbee or shoe for 2 hours straight, let me introduce you to Maebe.

We adopted this sweet girl when she was a pup....her birthday is estimated to be Halloween of 2006. She is the kind of dog that can't get enough love from you, but once given the correct guidance and signals, she will find her spot and give you the perfected "puppy eyes" until you give her the "okay" for more scratches behind the ear. She loves hiking and the great outdoors. She is great around kids (lets them climb on her, poke at her with little annoyance), and other dogs. She usually tends to be the least dominant in the room (which is to say: she's a little nervous and shy, but not to a fault). She can be taken off the leash, but does need to be acquainted with her surroundings and owner for a good while before attempting this. She's a retriever at heart and fits the mold pretty much to a "T."
Shots are up to date, but she will require a teeth cleaning from your vet. Loves swimming and bath time as well as grooming. All of her dog gear will go with her wherever she goes. She has a crate, but does not get crated unless absolutely necessary. That is to say, she prefers to be able to lounge and move around during the day. She is good about not chewing on things, but does like to sneak in a couch-nap during the day, if allowed. Leash trained and house-trained, as well as basic obedience training (sit, shake, load-up, down).

We aren't able to bring her to California per our lease agreement and arrangements we've made have fallen through. Please, if you or someone you know is looking to adopt an excellent canine partner in crime, let us know. She needs a very loving home.



*UPDATE* Maebe has found a new home where she's getting LOTS of love, long walks and countless ear scratches. :D She's happy as can be!
also, she's into art.

I love weddings...


Can't help it. Congrats to the Duke and Dutchess.

well, hello there. it's been a while, old friend.

So, what have we been up to since March 10th? Oh, the usual...moving across the country, playing on the beach, enjoying ocean breezes and loving life in general.
Best to do things in pictures.


Saying Goodbye to the LRD for now...


Last Magnolia Breakfast for a while


Middle of Nowhere, TX



Me + Scout, Golfland in Pheonix



8 Am swimming in Phoenix


AZ Cactus


California Wind Farms


Bucket Shopping on the Santa Monica Pier


Scout <3s In-N-Out


Happy Earth Day, everybody.

Mini-Vacay with my love.


Olympic Peninsula, WA - Canon T2i from Jay Holzer on Vimeo.

BIG news.

If you haven't heard through various social media outlets yet....we are moving! Jay and his company have been "in talks" about a move to the Los Angeles area for about four months now, and we've made it official! We move...next month! Ah! April 15th, you'll find us living it up (or pulling our hair out, trying to find a permanent place to reside) in sunny SoCal! More specifically, we're headed to Santa Monica.

How are we doing? Oh, we are losing our minds with excitement. But at the same time, it all seems bittersweet and surreal. We've always talked about a move and said "no, we could never leave Austin. We love it so much." But at the same time, we've always been open to the idea should the situation present itself. We will miss our friends and family most of all. And how.

So, in the next few weeks I'm going to be interviewing moving companies, resigning from my job, packing a month's worth of belongings for three into my Santa Fe and driving West.

It's amazing. It's ridiculous. It's scary. It's exciting.

It's happening.

Feb. 20, 2011


holy moly. you're three.

Things I'm going to do after April 15th.....

*take scout to the beach
*tour houses with amazing views
*be cut/colour model for free @ Vidal Sassoon
*wear sundresses galore
*get some shades
*take scout to the parks
*teach scout to read
*teach scout to tie her shoes
*hike in the palisades
*Cali baby
*call family everyday
*cry a little
*rejoice in the new/now/familiar/strange
*teach scout to ride a bike

The Flu

Scout has "the flu," so I've been home for the last two days with her while she recovers. Which, if this is the flu...I'll take it. Because it hasn't been all that bad honestly. She's had a cough and runny nose, has been REALLY lethargic, achy, and has had a little bit of a tummy issue.....but no vomiting or high fevers. I don't know if her diagnosis was correct or if my kid has a super immune system that fights off the worst of symptoms. Either way, she is appearing to be better (on day 3 now) and has had us watching Wonder Pets and playing board games with her all morning.

On a related note, I always instinctively type "flue" and then also instinctively delete the extra letter. I heart spelling.

Allergen season is on the horizon, people...so be sure to load up on your pollen solution and honey and zyrtec. It is the only thing I have grown to loathe about CenTex. Cedar fever. and Oak pollen. omg. Looking forward to our escape in a couple of weeks to Seattle...snow falling from the sky instead of pollen!

Edge of your seat announcement coming up this week. Keep your fingers and toes crossed. It might be better than Oprah's family secret revelation.

Christmas where it snows





We went to my family's hometown to spend Christmas this year. It was another memorable one for us. So much going on that we tried to capture on film. Scout must have been a good girl because Santa came to see her TWICE on Christmas Eve. She wasn't a bit afraid and even hugged him several times. So much changed from last year. She looks so grown up and is such a big girl. I find myself grasping at those bittersweet moments of fleeting childhood on a more frequent basis. How could anyone not smile just being around this silly little thing?

It's Christmas time....

Quotes I love from Little Women:

"That's Meg. She's my sister. She's completely bald in front." -Jo

"If you hit and humiliate a child, the only lesson you teach her is to hit and humiliate." -Marmi

"Go and embrace your liberty. And see what wonderful things will come of it." -Marmi

"over the mysteries of female life, there is drawn a veil...best left undisturbed." -Mr. Brooks

"If only I were the swooning type."-Jo
"If only I were the catching type."-Laurie

"Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Forgive eachother. Start again tomorrow."-Marmi

"Don't be such a beetle. I could never love anyone as I love my sisters." Jo

"And this one has ruined her disposition completely with books." Aunt March

"How I wish I could give my girls a more just world. But I know you will make it a better place." Marmi

"Jo! How could you? Your one beauty!" Amy

"I don't want to die. I've never even been kissed. I've waited my whole life to be kissed. What if I miss it." Amy
"I'll tell you what, if you get sick, I will kiss you before you die." Laurie

"We'll all grow up someday. We might as well know what we want." Amy

I have loved you since the moment I clamped eyes on you. What could be more reasonable than to marry you....(and the rest of the proposal denied passage)" Laurie

"I should have been a great many things, Mr. Mayer." Jo

"Why does everyone want to go away? I love being at home. But I do not like being left behind. And now I am the one to go ahead. I am not afraid. I can be brave like you. But I know I shall be homesick for you, even in Heaven." Beth

"Jo; such a small name for such a person. Will you have me?" Prof. Baehr

"But I have nothing to give you. My hands are empty!" Prof. Baehr
Placing her hand in his "Not so empty now." Jo

Sunday, Funday....er, weekend.

Sunday, Funday....er, weekend.
Had an amazing time this weekend. Old friends, new friends, happy times all around! Celebrated a birthday, lounged in the sun, ate some great food and even spotted a celebrity. I love living in Austin. I love sharing this great city with all of the people in my life. I could not ask for a bigger blessing. Well....maybe one more thing.

oops...

I've totally dropped the ball here. Minus like, 100 points for me.

thursday

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for it all.

Tuesday

Jay is working tonight, so I'm left to my own devices. Scout fell asleep around 8, which has been her new normal. She's been doing so good lately with the falling asleep on her own. Having those 10 days away from home really helped with that. She's beginning to learn that she's a big girl...which makes her really sad at times. She says things like "hold me like a baby" or " I don't want to grow big." It breaks your heart, really. She is SO big. No longer a baby....we are sneaking up on THREE. Oh dear.

Turkey on the brain

Thanksgiving.
It's a week away and I'm already CRAVING that dressing and gravy. MMMmmmmMMMm! I've had a great year, and have a lot to be thankful for. I'm thankful for a loving husband who works very (VERY, VERY, VERY) hard. I'm thankful for a silly 2 (almost three!) year old that keeps me on my toes. I'm thankful for the roof over my head and that full belly of mine. Tonight, I'm thankful for Chinese take-out and Disney movies (it's been that kind of day). One more day!

Journaling Day 2

I drove all morning in the rain yesterday. To see the snow and to see the two year old, of course. It was a nice time. Being alone with your thoughts (as shallow or as deep as they may be) is a fierce thing.
I was talking to Jay a couple of days before I left...we were discussing the amount of people I knew that have died versus how many he knew. It seemed to be a staggering number. What's that about? Dying?

76188_10100442221895654_8359774_68965105_4283754_n
When I arrived, I took her to my childhood bedroom to put her down for nap. She asked me to stay. 

Journaling Day 1

Hello Journal.
Here's an experiment, just to get my mind working again. Open-ended, free-flowing, stream of consciousness journaling. Day 1. I will type for two minutes today. Starting now, 2:11 pm. Scout is asleep. We are cuddling. I am so elated to be near her, that I don't want to be apart. I hold her while she naps, I cuddle her close. I smell her hair, and it smells differently. She looks changed and sounds strange. Her voice is much clearer and her wants are known. Ten days is too long to be apart. I can't even believe that we did it! She only cried a copule of times, but I cried every day. "You're too far away for a minute" was too hard to bear some days. But what a blessing for her grandparents and great-grandparents.

Kids say the funniest things!

Someone's been not just asking for a baby sister...but saying "I HAVE a baby sister."

Me: Oh really? What's your sister's name?

Her: Brother! My sister's name is Brother!

Me: Where is your sister named Brother?

Her: Him's soooo tiny. Him's the smallest!

Oh dear!

Princess for a day...or two....


Imagination knows no bounds.

a change of pace.

Some days, I'm working just to make a living. Some days I wish with all my heart that I could just stay home and snuggle with Scout and take care of things around the house and all the stuff that takes so much time that I don't have. Some times, it breaks my heart that I'm not the one teaching things to Scout and watching every new step and change under a magnifying glass. Today was one of those days. We spent most of the day together. We cuddled from 4 a.m. to 8. She went to school from nine to eleven. I made it back in time to sit with her during lunch for a little while. We finished up and headed home for an afternoon nap. We snuggled for a couple of hours and then headed out again to have a nice dinner and take care of some more errands. Just the two of us. I definitely watched her under the microscope today.

random bloggings

Just cuddled my babe to sleep. Now, time for some Pilot House Town Lake Blend and some coursework. Did I mention I'm back in school? CDA...that's Child Development Associate's certification. Yay! It's pretty interesting stuff and at this point, fairly easy. It's nice to be able to have the experience of working with children under my belt before jumping into the "why's, who's, what's and when's." It's back-asswards, but it works for me.

Tomorrow is Jay/Ashley Celebration 2010. We are going out on the town to hang with all the hipsters and see some nice Canadian music. Which reminds me, I need to go shopping. AND on that note, here's a little preview of our night....



Followed by some booty shakin' to:


All my love to you.



Four years ago, today, I married my best friend. He was the man of my dreams and the love of my life. Today he's the father of my child and the apple of my eye. I love him more than peanut butter and you KNOW that means a lot.

Happy FOURTH anniversary, JBarton. True love like yours only comes once in a lifetime. I consider myself lucky to even know you. It's earth-shattering craziness that you fell in love with me, and don't think I take that for granted for a second.

Thanks for providing for our family, working hard at home and at the office. Thank you for being the light in my darkness. Thank you for your sweet, kind heart. I'll always keep it in a safe place. All my love to you.

You got me,
A

2 bloggy blog posts in one week....you know what that means....


I've got too much time on my hands....or something.

But seriously. Have you seen how stinkin' adorable my baby girl is?

things i've loved lately...

haircuts
nice smells (http://www.lightsoutcandles.com/sc_sant.html)
the sound of the wind chimes outside my bedroom window
the creaks of the floor
cooking dinner with the family
summer winding down

Scoutings (pt. II)

"Wunner pants, wunner pants, we're on our way. To help the baby armadiwo and save da day. We're not too big and we're not too big, but we got da right stuff. GOOOO WUNNERPANTS, YAY!"

"Mommy, I wub you."

Me: Scout, do you want peas for dinner?
Scout: Ummmmmmmm, no thanks.
Me: What do you want?
Scout: Chic'n nuggets, cheese, ketchup and applesauce. Cool DUDE!

"One-a day, there was a wittle gurl. And She wub her mommy-daddy. The end! Yay!"

Scoutings

Scout has recently begun to express herself in new adorable ways. Like this one:

"Mommy and Daddy are so PROUD. My mommy and daddy are SOOOOoooo happy!"
-Best used when she has just done something adorable like used the potty or eaten all her dinner. Also adorable when used at school to tell her teachers that we are going to be so happy and proud of her for being a big girl at school.

Something that's not so cute: "Don't use your WORDS, mommy!"

Oy! You can't win them all!

I'm a gardener, baby.

Life always seems to get in the way....

of my blog postings.

of my need for sleep.

of the snooze button.

of plans made.

of plans made to avoid birthdays.


And that's just to name a few things I'm thinking at nine twenty two on a Thursday night.

Playground

I love my husband because he makes beautiful children. And beautiful videos of these beautiful children.

Playground - Canon T2i test from Full90 Productions on Vimeo.

Playground

Playground - Canon T2i test from Full90 Productions on Vimeo.



Birthday recap

It has taken me two weeks to post this because for the last two weeks, you've been waking up at 4 a.m. and wanting us to lay down in your room with you at night. You've also decided that you will no longer sleep in a crib, but prefer your floor. Anywho...

Your second birthday was perfect.



We started with breakfast at your favorite place. We had strawberry crepes and blueberry muffins and milk and hashbrowns. You dipped your muffin in ketchup and loved it.

We then ran around looking for cupcakes and balloons and the last of the party decorations (including a four foot inflatable Elmo with present and party hat). Then, we returned home in time to take a shower, get dressed (you took a nap, finally) and get ready for the party.

We woke you up from your nap when people arrived and you were shy at first. Then you saw the cupcakes and Elmo and balloons and presents and M&Ms and family and you decided to perk up.



We had cake and ice cream and sang happy birthday to you. You blew out your own candle even though mommy and daddy tried to help. You opened your own presents, even if you sat in my lap for most of it. (Your favorite thing to say during present opening was "it scare me." or "it's not scary.")



You are the cutest babe to walk the face of this planet....and we get to see you grow and change for yet another fun-filled year!