My moment of enlightenment...

Upon my first few days as a mother, I was flooded with help from family, friends, and a wonderful nursing staff at NAMC. So when we headed home from the hospital, I was confident, excited and ready to begin this new chapter in my life. I was flooded with the "I can't believe this beautiful baby is mine" thoughts.
The day that J was due to return to work, my mom (who'd been in town helping us with late night feedings, laundry, cleaning, cooking, errands, and getting me back on my feet after a difficult C-section) was also due to return home (9 hours away). Momentarily, I was freaked out. Paralyzed. I couldn't believe I was responsible for such a tiny little thing! What was I going to do? How could I do this without my security net? But alone, in our first private moments together...with no nurses, no doctors, no daddy, no grandmas, no family, no friends...I knew. I realized my purpose in life at this very moment was to love this child and that that love would only continue to grow with each late night feeding, each sleepless hour, every coo, every smile and every touch. At that moment (and every moment since then), I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.