every day i'm hurdling.

Is that even a word?

Just returned from our appointment with Dr. J. Again,we are so impressed and at ease with his level of confidence in our chances. After today's appointment, we have a more clear picture of what may be happening every month. Looks like I'm not ovulating...even with the Clomid. My follicles aren't maturing at a rate that produces an egg. This month, with the help of the larger dose of Clomid, the initial stimulation was excellent and right on track. However, since Friday, the growth has stalled and my follicles are now only measuring around 16, 13 and 12 (remember, ovulation usually happens between 16-20mm at the earliest).

So what are we doing; what's next? Dr. J sent us home with injections of Follistim that I will give myself for the next two days. The shots give the follies extra FSH they need to keep growing at a rate of 1-2mm per day. Think of it as shots of Clomid given straight to the ovaries. I'm returning to his office on Wednesday for another shot that will trigger ovulation and then our IUI will likely happen on Thursday. Then, we leave town on Friday morning to head to the aTx.

My head is feeling foggy. I'm distressed by the lack of growth, but hopeful and optimistic at the same time. I like that we are doing everything we can at EVERY step of the way. I like that we are being monitored. It gives you less time to worry when you know what's going on. Jay is the best pep talker. After the doctor left our patient room, he asked me how I felt about everything. I said I was a little sad, but comfortable with the shots. He said he was just as confident that we have a good chance. He also pointed out something that I hadn't really noticed until this trip to SMF. We are by far the youngest couple in the office at any given time. We've got time and youth on our side, and everything else is perfectly healthy. I've got a hospitable environment for a developing fertilized egg. There is no issue with Jay's side of the equation at all. We've got great doctors.

I'm not excited about giving myself shots. In fact, I asked Jay if he thought he could give them to me. His response? "Oh god no, I'd pass out. I feel like passing out just thinking about it." What a stud. ;) I don't blame him. I'm feeling the same way. I'm waiting for my blood results to come back, and then they'll give me the "go ahead" for the Follistim.

For now, we are building Lego towers, making grape Jello, and painting our craft snakes we HAD to have from our Michael's shopping trip this weekend. Gotta say, I feel like I'm living the charmed life lately, despite all these hurdles.

Post edit: Neg LH test today. Injection wasn't so bad. I chickened out right before, and Scout was being needy at the time and I had to go into the bathroom and shut the door. As soon as I got in there, I gave myself a pep-talk and did it. I think I was more nervous about getting something wrong than I was about the actual pain. Jay got nauseous and had to sit on the couch at the thought of me doing it. Poor guy...