Clomid Chronicles, Day 3
So, day 3.
Day 2 update first: around 1:00 I was feeling horrible. I spent the majority of the day between the couch and the bed, with a little time spent playing with Scout on the floor. Poor kid, she wanted to go to the park SO bad...but I could not get with the program. I felt awful, had a headache and upset stomach...then the nervous energy. I had this the last time with Clomid, and it was the side effect that made me not really want to do Clomid again. But here we are...because it is the best starting place. So yes, the nervous energy. I feel hyper active in my head...but SUPER sluggish in the body. Lethargic. I think this is what drugs must feel like. I don't know.
SO...last night, Jay and I had talks about what we wanted to do this weekend. He proposed Disney. Or maybe I did..I can't remember. Either way....we ended up waking up and shooting out of bed this morning to get in the car to make it to Disneyland. Today was their Halloween opening day. It was awesome. That's another post. I told Jay that I was glad that we went because it gave me something to do with all my energy. I ignored the fact that I slept very little last night and trucked through the day. Scout was a trooper...she wanted to do a lot of new rides or rides that she previously was not thrilled about. She had a blast, and Jay and I got to ride a couple of "40 in. to ride" rides. All in all---it was a great day. I'm dreading the sleeplessness tonight...but at this point, I have to say...I've pretty much been dealing with this round of Clomid a bit better than the last time.
On to day 4!
Clomid Chronicles, Day 2
Day 2 here. Woke up with an upset tummy, and a little tired. I had a little trouble sleeping last night, but nothing like the last time I was at this higher dosage. Also woke up to a rainy morning, a very nice surprise.
Realized yesterday that Dr. J gave me 100 mgs per day, not 50. So, a couple of hours after taking my first pill, I swallowed the second. Yesterday was a big day for Jay, and I'm so proud that he is my partner through this. Through this whole process, he has shown me over and over that the most important thing is his family. There is nothing that he does that isn't for us. He badly wants another baby, but more importantly, a sibling for Scout. He wants her to have that experience of growing up with your best friend and #1 nuisance.
We are amazed at this process, because it's different than anything we've done before. We are trying to keep it as organic and natural as possible, but it is hard when everything hinges on procedures, pills, ultrasounds, and blood tests. We love each other so much. I told him I had warm, fuzzy feelings about these next few months. Whether it works this month, or next...or the next, I'm just thankful that we have the opportunity to pursue this avenue. I'm thankful for our good doctor and nurses.
We are headed to Austin later this month to see my wonderful father in law before he starts his 27 month journey to Tanzania to work with the Peace Corp. It wouldn't be complete without a little snag, and we had to change our flights because our timing could not have been worse. Our IUI would have landed square in the middle of the week we were supposed to be gone. I love our families. Everyone has been so understanding of our situation, and told us "Don't worry. We'll do what we have to do to see you guys when you can get out here." That being said, we are flying to Austin the weekend before Glenn leaves, and I know that Jay already feels like it's not going to be enough time. We miss our family, and somehow seeing one of our members leave the country for a couple of years is even harder. We couldn't be more proud of him and his decision to go, but he will be missed and thought of daily.
More tomorrow....
Realized yesterday that Dr. J gave me 100 mgs per day, not 50. So, a couple of hours after taking my first pill, I swallowed the second. Yesterday was a big day for Jay, and I'm so proud that he is my partner through this. Through this whole process, he has shown me over and over that the most important thing is his family. There is nothing that he does that isn't for us. He badly wants another baby, but more importantly, a sibling for Scout. He wants her to have that experience of growing up with your best friend and #1 nuisance.
We are amazed at this process, because it's different than anything we've done before. We are trying to keep it as organic and natural as possible, but it is hard when everything hinges on procedures, pills, ultrasounds, and blood tests. We love each other so much. I told him I had warm, fuzzy feelings about these next few months. Whether it works this month, or next...or the next, I'm just thankful that we have the opportunity to pursue this avenue. I'm thankful for our good doctor and nurses.
We are headed to Austin later this month to see my wonderful father in law before he starts his 27 month journey to Tanzania to work with the Peace Corp. It wouldn't be complete without a little snag, and we had to change our flights because our timing could not have been worse. Our IUI would have landed square in the middle of the week we were supposed to be gone. I love our families. Everyone has been so understanding of our situation, and told us "Don't worry. We'll do what we have to do to see you guys when you can get out here." That being said, we are flying to Austin the weekend before Glenn leaves, and I know that Jay already feels like it's not going to be enough time. We miss our family, and somehow seeing one of our members leave the country for a couple of years is even harder. We couldn't be more proud of him and his decision to go, but he will be missed and thought of daily.
More tomorrow....
Clomid Chronicles, Day 1
Day 1.
Woke up this morning with a nauseous stomach...but proceeded with my day. Got up and made breakfast for the family. Took vitamins (gagged a little), ate my breakfast and took the first 50 mg Clomid. Feeling fine-ish; a little tired and craving a big coffee or a nap.
Scout woke up early this morning, crying for me. Jay was still up working on a project for work, so I went into her room and asked if she wanted to come lay down with me in my bed (I never...i mean, NEVER do this anymore). She said she did, so we cuddled up in my bed. She told me she loved me (SO MUCH) and quickly fell asleep.
You never get a lot of rest when you sleep with Scout. But, the bonus is waking up to some sweet cuddles.
Woke up this morning with a nauseous stomach...but proceeded with my day. Got up and made breakfast for the family. Took vitamins (gagged a little), ate my breakfast and took the first 50 mg Clomid. Feeling fine-ish; a little tired and craving a big coffee or a nap.
Scout woke up early this morning, crying for me. Jay was still up working on a project for work, so I went into her room and asked if she wanted to come lay down with me in my bed (I never...i mean, NEVER do this anymore). She said she did, so we cuddled up in my bed. She told me she loved me (SO MUCH) and quickly fell asleep.
You never get a lot of rest when you sleep with Scout. But, the bonus is waking up to some sweet cuddles.
the prequel
so this is the night before our first clomid/iui cycle begins. the calm? before the storm?
Things I'm going to do in the next five days:
1. Take Clomid, 50 ml, once a day.
2. Rest as much as possible, during the day and at night.
3. Probably cry a little.
4. Try to control my temper/irrational hormonability. I just made that word up and I LIKE it.
5. Meditate on good, peaceful, happy thoughts.
6. Cross my fingers. and toes.
p.s.: How ADORBS is my sweetie in her handpicked outfit? She wanted to wear her new "Flowery jacket" over her green "dress" and her pants. WITH the HK sneakers. love her. love her. love her.
1. Take Clomid, 50 ml, once a day.
2. Rest as much as possible, during the day and at night.
3. Probably cry a little.
4. Try to control my temper/irrational hormonability. I just made that word up and I LIKE it.
5. Meditate on good, peaceful, happy thoughts.
6. Cross my fingers. and toes.
p.s.: How ADORBS is my sweetie in her handpicked outfit? She wanted to wear her new "Flowery jacket" over her green "dress" and her pants. WITH the HK sneakers. love her. love her. love her.
Austin area wildfires
Our beloved home-city is being ravaged by wildfires as I type this. They started this weekend and have already burned miles of farmland, parkland and residential properties as well as some businesses. From Bastrop (in the south east) to Leander (in the north west), our friends and family were put on evacuation notice over Labor Day weekend.
I started receiving text messages and emails about whether or not our house in Pflugerville was safe. There was a fire in the neighborhood next to ours, and they were taking water from our lake to extinguish the fire. Our house was mildy in danger, but the hardworking firefighters contained it in a matter of two hours.
Here's a picture of the biggest fire in the area of Bastrop (credit to Deanna Roy who took this picture). That's Austin in the foreground.
My brother posted this only an hour before he was told they might have to evacuate their house in Leander. There was a fire across Crystal Falls Road (where their neighborhood begins) that was consuming the local Lowes. Their house lost power, and they began to gather everything that was essential and irreplaceable and throw it in their cars. My brother posted several times how surreal it was that he was having to make that decision; what to take, what to leave. He was surprised at how little he couldn't live without. How basically everything besides his wife, his kids (dogs), and his self could be easily replaced.
Thankfully, my brother didn't have to evacuate (yet) and are safe (for now). There are many that did have to evacuate...that lost everything. EVERY. THING. Here's a link to how you can help those in need:
Here's a link on how to get updates from your county (in the local Austin area counties including Bastrop, Travis, Blanco, Burnet, Caldwell, Fayete, Hays, Lee, Llano and Williamson. They'll send you a text message alerting you when to evacuate.
I read somewhere that there are already over 1200 homes that were lost to wildfires in the area as of November, and over 600 of them were lost just in the last couple of days. Keep Texas in your thoughts.
I started receiving text messages and emails about whether or not our house in Pflugerville was safe. There was a fire in the neighborhood next to ours, and they were taking water from our lake to extinguish the fire. Our house was mildy in danger, but the hardworking firefighters contained it in a matter of two hours.
Here's a picture of the biggest fire in the area of Bastrop (credit to Deanna Roy who took this picture). That's Austin in the foreground.
My brother posted this only an hour before he was told they might have to evacuate their house in Leander. There was a fire across Crystal Falls Road (where their neighborhood begins) that was consuming the local Lowes. Their house lost power, and they began to gather everything that was essential and irreplaceable and throw it in their cars. My brother posted several times how surreal it was that he was having to make that decision; what to take, what to leave. He was surprised at how little he couldn't live without. How basically everything besides his wife, his kids (dogs), and his self could be easily replaced.
Thankfully, my brother didn't have to evacuate (yet) and are safe (for now). There are many that did have to evacuate...that lost everything. EVERY. THING. Here's a link to how you can help those in need:
Here's a link on how to get updates from your county (in the local Austin area counties including Bastrop, Travis, Blanco, Burnet, Caldwell, Fayete, Hays, Lee, Llano and Williamson. They'll send you a text message alerting you when to evacuate.
I read somewhere that there are already over 1200 homes that were lost to wildfires in the area as of November, and over 600 of them were lost just in the last couple of days. Keep Texas in your thoughts.
Tasty Snack
If you can read The Hunger Games and not run out and buy goat cheese and soft bread to snack on, you...my friend....have no heart. Or stomach. Or something.
Ok...going to eat my cheese and croissant.
Ok...going to eat my cheese and croissant.
This just happened: Saturday Morning
Jay spends all morning...literally all morning.....trying to convince me that we need to buy a new television THIS weekend. Mind you, just last night I agreed that our current plasma t.v. is going to need replacing...maybe it could be our Christmas present. Like, ease me into it...by...CHRISTMAS.
I'm resisting. Telling him it's ridiculous. I don't want to spend the money right now. No way. No how. Don't care how good the deals are right now.
He says these words. "It's 3d. It comes with two free pairs of 3D glasses. And it's $200 cheaper than normal." He measures our current television space. I can see the wheels turning. He's trying to figure out how much television he can get for his buck.
I say: "uh. I don't care. And I can't think of anything more embarrassing than sitting on our couch, with glasses on, watching television." I vacuum the rug.
Finally, after some more badgering, I give in. "Fine. Just don't tell anyone we have a 3d television." (and yes, I know, I'm here telling you all about it)
THEN. He. Measures. The. DVD. Player. The blue-ray we just got for Christmas.
You can imagine the panic that was in my voice as I say. "OH NO YOU DON'T!!"
Boys and their toys. tsk. tsk.
I'm resisting. Telling him it's ridiculous. I don't want to spend the money right now. No way. No how. Don't care how good the deals are right now.
He says these words. "It's 3d. It comes with two free pairs of 3D glasses. And it's $200 cheaper than normal." He measures our current television space. I can see the wheels turning. He's trying to figure out how much television he can get for his buck.
I say: "uh. I don't care. And I can't think of anything more embarrassing than sitting on our couch, with glasses on, watching television." I vacuum the rug.
Finally, after some more badgering, I give in. "Fine. Just don't tell anyone we have a 3d television." (and yes, I know, I'm here telling you all about it)
THEN. He. Measures. The. DVD. Player. The blue-ray we just got for Christmas.
You can imagine the panic that was in my voice as I say. "OH NO YOU DON'T!!"
Boys and their toys. tsk. tsk.
let's just say I saw that coming...
A FB friend of mine recently posted a picture of his three dogs with the feather extensions in their hair. Read that again. DOGS. And not to hate on you or yours if you got them, but I think they might look better on the dogs....
Interview your three year old, again.
After her begging for some delicious cocoa, made just like on Fireman Sam.
"Scout, what's cocoa?"
"It's a drink for putting marshmallows in it. It tastes like coffee. AND strawberries! And you drink it up and it makes you toasty. It's black."
Now that we have that all figured out...
"Scout, what's cocoa?"
"It's a drink for putting marshmallows in it. It tastes like coffee. AND strawberries! And you drink it up and it makes you toasty. It's black."
Now that we have that all figured out...
Holy Cow!
Wowsers!
Just noticed that my first blog was written on August 26, 2005!
Anniversary week is crazy!
How fun was that?
Just noticed that my first blog was written on August 26, 2005!
Anniversary week is crazy!
How fun was that?
Sunday, funday
Oh ya know...just hanging out with Scout, watching the VMAs.
And by "scout," I mean "rapunzel."
And by "VMAs," I mean "Lilo and Stitch."
Life as a mom is SOOOO glam.
It's like 24/7 glam.
And by "scout," I mean "rapunzel."
And by "VMAs," I mean "Lilo and Stitch."
Life as a mom is SOOOO glam.
It's like 24/7 glam.
Interview your 3 yr old.
Hey Scout, what happens when you get married?
You get some flowers. And they go all in your hair. And then, you eat birthday cake. And you put your crowns on. And you get more flowers. And everyone gets some. And you throw some flowers. And you kiss. But I'm not going to kiss. I'm just going to get married. All I have to do is not kiss.
(This question prompted by her telling me that Piglet and Eeyore were married because they went down the slide together)
You get some flowers. And they go all in your hair. And then, you eat birthday cake. And you put your crowns on. And you get more flowers. And everyone gets some. And you throw some flowers. And you kiss. But I'm not going to kiss. I'm just going to get married. All I have to do is not kiss.
(This question prompted by her telling me that Piglet and Eeyore were married because they went down the slide together)
Robyn is so adorbs, you guys...
but what's even cuter than a swedish pixie with a pixie cut?
Scout, in the backseat singing Robyn songs.
Lacking
Great article here to educate yourself on fertility issues.
I was going to originally just post this previous sentence. That was going to be my grand statement. But, given the secrecy/shame associated with fertility, I'm going to chronicle our journey here. To catch you up to date:
We tried on our own for a few months in the spring and summer of 2009. After a few unsuccessful months, I decided I wasn't ready for the emotional strain put on Jay and myself.
When Scout turned two in 2010, we began trying again. After more and more and more months of unsuccessful attempts, I decided that in November, I would make an appointment with my Obgyn and hopefully get a referral so that Jay and I could return to Texas Fertility Center. (I guess I should inform you that we were patients with Dr. Silverberg at TFC and successfully got pregnant after our first round of Clomid back in 2007--hence Scout).
After meeting with our Obgyn, we decided that we would do a round of Clomid through her office, and began our first round of 50ml Clomid. We had a proven track record in the form of a fierce 2 year old, and believed that it would work again because I seemed to be ovulating every month without the assistance of prescriptions. No luck. So, just before Christmas...we were aware of our very real struggle to get pregnant.
We tried again in January. We didn't want to get our hopes up. But I have to admit, when we upped the dosage to 100mls, I was expecting results. Soon after, another ultrasound with tiny follicles. Basically, my ovulation cycle is not like everyone else's. It's unpredictable and likes to keep us guessing. Not only that, but the side effects of this dosage were incredibly different. Insomnia, light-headed feelings, nervous energy/panic, and emotional outbursts...in other words, I was turned upside down for about two weeks. Not to mention the pressure of "this better be worth it."
THEN...the big news came that we were moving across the country. So, in a tearful discussion with my obgyn, in February...days before Scout's 3rd birthday...I asked what our next step was. She said that if we were staying in Austin, she would recommend we see an REI specialist. That's Reproductive Endocrinologist and Infertility specialist. Basically, they outline a plan or two and you go home to decide which route is the way to go. But since we were moving....she thought the best thing to do is to wait until we get settled in our new home and then when we were ready, head to the REI specialist.
SO...Monday. August 23rd, 2011. We went to visit Dr. John Jain at Santa Monica Fertility. Coincidentally, the pediatrician that Scout sees is in the same building....across the courtyard. Walking in, we felt at ease...the staff and the doctor were incredibly helpful. We left there with more information than we had received since TFC. We feel at ease with our decision to pursue IUI and have complete trust in the doctor and nurse that will be treating us along the way.
That being said, we have a few more hoops to jump through. There are a few tests that Jay and I have to endure before we can actually get started...but after it all...we have hope.
I was going to originally just post this previous sentence. That was going to be my grand statement. But, given the secrecy/shame associated with fertility, I'm going to chronicle our journey here. To catch you up to date:
We tried on our own for a few months in the spring and summer of 2009. After a few unsuccessful months, I decided I wasn't ready for the emotional strain put on Jay and myself.
When Scout turned two in 2010, we began trying again. After more and more and more months of unsuccessful attempts, I decided that in November, I would make an appointment with my Obgyn and hopefully get a referral so that Jay and I could return to Texas Fertility Center. (I guess I should inform you that we were patients with Dr. Silverberg at TFC and successfully got pregnant after our first round of Clomid back in 2007--hence Scout).
After meeting with our Obgyn, we decided that we would do a round of Clomid through her office, and began our first round of 50ml Clomid. We had a proven track record in the form of a fierce 2 year old, and believed that it would work again because I seemed to be ovulating every month without the assistance of prescriptions. No luck. So, just before Christmas...we were aware of our very real struggle to get pregnant.
We tried again in January. We didn't want to get our hopes up. But I have to admit, when we upped the dosage to 100mls, I was expecting results. Soon after, another ultrasound with tiny follicles. Basically, my ovulation cycle is not like everyone else's. It's unpredictable and likes to keep us guessing. Not only that, but the side effects of this dosage were incredibly different. Insomnia, light-headed feelings, nervous energy/panic, and emotional outbursts...in other words, I was turned upside down for about two weeks. Not to mention the pressure of "this better be worth it."
THEN...the big news came that we were moving across the country. So, in a tearful discussion with my obgyn, in February...days before Scout's 3rd birthday...I asked what our next step was. She said that if we were staying in Austin, she would recommend we see an REI specialist. That's Reproductive Endocrinologist and Infertility specialist. Basically, they outline a plan or two and you go home to decide which route is the way to go. But since we were moving....she thought the best thing to do is to wait until we get settled in our new home and then when we were ready, head to the REI specialist.
SO...Monday. August 23rd, 2011. We went to visit Dr. John Jain at Santa Monica Fertility. Coincidentally, the pediatrician that Scout sees is in the same building....across the courtyard. Walking in, we felt at ease...the staff and the doctor were incredibly helpful. We left there with more information than we had received since TFC. We feel at ease with our decision to pursue IUI and have complete trust in the doctor and nurse that will be treating us along the way.
That being said, we have a few more hoops to jump through. There are a few tests that Jay and I have to endure before we can actually get started...but after it all...we have hope.
Happy Anniversary....
Five years ago, on this very day...I was lucky enough to marry my best friend. I say lucky, because not everyone finds what they are really looking for in a mate, marriage partner, life partner, father of their future children, etc....
Then, even if you find that needle in the haystack, you might be legally blocked from marrying them. Currently, in the United States, only 6 states plus the District of Columbia legally recognize same-sex marriages.
So many people have heartbreaking stories like this. and bittersweet stories like this. and still more, like this.
In honor of my 5 year wedding anniversary, please take a moment to check out the Human Rights Campaign. If you can give a donation, that would be great. If you get involved, even better.
Let us live and love in a world where equal opportunity is a real thing.
bedtime
holy moly, there is full-fledged 13 yr. old "you ruined it!" cryelling happening in this house.
cryelling---just made that one up. but you know what it means.
cryelling---just made that one up. but you know what it means.
Scoutings (pt. III)
Things she's said lately:
While in the bathtub--"I need you to bring me something with more life in it. It has three points like a triangle."
After wiping off excessive amounts of lip gloss---"Awww. I'm not BEAUTIFUL anymore!"
While walking to the soccer game---"Geez MOM!"
While in the bathtub--"I need you to bring me something with more life in it. It has three points like a triangle."
After wiping off excessive amounts of lip gloss---"Awww. I'm not BEAUTIFUL anymore!"
While walking to the soccer game---"Geez MOM!"
scout's favorite number
everything is 49.
Me: Scout, how many bites have you had of dinner?
Scout: um, like, 49.
Jay: How many books do you want to read?
Scout: 49.
Me (at ikea): Scout, what are you doing?
Scout: measuring. it's, like, 49.
Jay: Scout, that's too many books.
Scout: NO! It's 49!!!
Me: Scout, how many bites have you had of dinner?
Scout: um, like, 49.
Jay: How many books do you want to read?
Scout: 49.
Me (at ikea): Scout, what are you doing?
Scout: measuring. it's, like, 49.
Jay: Scout, that's too many books.
Scout: NO! It's 49!!!
geez...
So today, I'm really excited. Actually, I got really excited on Saturday...and rushed out and spent more money on shoes than I've spent in a LONG time...at a running store...on running shoes. I know. First world problems.
But...anyway, I'm excited. Today, we are starting a new round of GAME ON!
So here's my stats:
Weigh in: 143 lbs.
How I'm Feeling: Heavy. My fat jeans have become my skinny jeans and my skinny jeans...well, they've been on their hanger for about 5 months now. The thickness in my neck is making me paranoid....and I know its just a little extra weight.
On giving up coffee: I'm missing it. Horribly. But all this water I'm drinking is helping.
Exercise for today: Running. Gotta get my $ worth, there.
But...anyway, I'm excited. Today, we are starting a new round of GAME ON!
So here's my stats:
Weigh in: 143 lbs.
How I'm Feeling: Heavy. My fat jeans have become my skinny jeans and my skinny jeans...well, they've been on their hanger for about 5 months now. The thickness in my neck is making me paranoid....and I know its just a little extra weight.
On giving up coffee: I'm missing it. Horribly. But all this water I'm drinking is helping.
Exercise for today: Running. Gotta get my $ worth, there.
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