It's a....

Sport's Debut

Without further ado: 

Dr. T said baby was looking great this morning. He/She was VERY active...in fact, we couldn't get him/her to sit still long enough to get a good profile picture. But I think the one above turned out very well. Pure joy. 

Baby is measuring over 13 weeks...which is consistent with the big measurement we got last time. I've lost a little weight, and doc says she'd like to see me gain a little before next time. When do we ever hear that? I remember when I was pregnant with Scout...the nurse would take my weight and bp at every appointment. The month I had finally gained weight, she said something along the lines of "It's about TIME!" In other words, I didn't gain any substantial weight until the third trimester. And BOY did I. ;) 

Anywho...she suggested a protein shake every day in addition to my smaller, more frequent meals should do the trick. I just wish CA had some Blue Bell...then I could show them how it's done. 

Surprise!????

I'm going to jump right into this one. When I got back into town, Jay and I had a serious discussion. What if we waited to find out the sex of the baby until he/she makes his/her debut in July? The problem with this is that I am not good at surprises. Well, that's a first of the many problems I have with it. I like to prepare as much as possible. And in pregnancy...as many of you well know...there is not a lot of control to be had on the part of the pregnant. Decorating a nursery and shopping for baby clothes...that's one of those things that takes your mind off the fact that you are going to give birth in roughly 28 weeks. How hard is it going to be for me to pick a pattern if I don't know what this baby is? Well. This is the part where I start weighing all the supposed "pros" and "cons." Of course, many have decorated a nursery without the knowledge of what the baby has going on in the southern hemisphere. I know that. Obviously. So. This is me *actually* considering this crazy plan. 

Jay was nearly convinced by a complete and total stranger who knew nothing about us other than the fact that we are expecting our second baby. He asked Jay if we were going to find out and then proceeded to tell us (J) why we should wait. He made a pretty convincing case. That, and Jay loves surprises. Either way, I found myself having this conversation with Jay while we were unpacking our suitcases from the holidays. The stranger pleaded with Jay to not find out because it is truly one of the ONLY true surprises left in life. How often are we presented with a chance like that?

So if we are to do this (I'm not convinced yet, but keeping an open mind)...here's a little list of things I figure we'd have to do:
*choose gender-neutral decor (easy peasy)
*choose names for both a boy and a girl
*resist using said names...because what do we call "it?"
*not look when the tech is doing "the" ultrasound. I've seen too many...I know what to look for. I knew Scout was a girl a full 10 minutes before Jay did because of the way our previous tech did the ultrasound.
*be that annoying pregnant person who tells people "no, we aren't finding out"....this includes the nurses and doctors at our OB's office. I'm sure I'd have to remind them. Right? Do people actually do this? I imagine they have to.
*drive myself crazy with all those old wive's tales...and gender predictors....and chinese calendars....and moon charts.
*that's pretty much it.

What are the benefits of finding out? Basically the exact opposite of all the things I just listed. Right? Sure. But here's some of the other things that might influence our decision: We are renters. We can't realistically paint a room pink or blue. So, chances are, it would actually be pretty easy to choose some gender neutral decor. Also? We already have SO much girly stuff that it would be easy to add some girly baby things after the fact. Little details we've kept from when Scout was a babe. I've already been keeping a list of names, so that wouldn't be a problem. We've also sorta nailed it down on the girl's name already. SO. That should be easy.

Also? I'm 12 weeks, and don't feel like I'm DYING to know. I remember with Scout, the only thing that got me through the morning sickness (all day) was the promise that at 16 weeks, I'd know what was making me so sick (a boy or a girl). This time? I can't believe we could already find out in a few weeks. Have I mentioned how much my husband LOVES surprises? I have to admit, it's kinda worn off on me...a little. I look forward to his surprises. This could be the surprise of a lifetime that we could give each other. Also, remember all those movies from the 80s and 90s? Like "She's Having a Baby," "Father of the Bride 2" and all those other ones I can't think of? Remember that amazing moment when they announce "it's a boy" or "it's a girl?" How REAL does that moment feel? And that's just a movie. Imagine that in real life. I dunno. Call me a dreamer...but I'm starting to really want to do this.....starting to.

*Oh my god. Just remembered another movie: Little Women. When John comes upstairs and Meg has just given birth and Marmi turns around and says "It's a boy." And then Hanna turns around and says "And a girl." BEST EVER.

Today

I'm sitting at home, eating my lunch and having some delayed-reaction-crying thinking about our first OB appointment today. We met with our regular obstetrician and discussed our pregnancy. We did blood work and signed (lots of) paperwork. We did another U/s and I got to see our little "Sport" move around for the first time. After all we've gone through, to see that little guy or gal thrive inside my body was truly amazing. I know that my ability to grow a human defines me as a woman, but what defines me as a mom is the love I already feel for that kiddo. The thoughts of all the fun we are going to have in the future and the ways this baby is going to change our lives are overwhelming at times, but in a great way. 

I've had friends and relatives who've experienced loss....infertility....and combinations of both. I do not take a second of this pregnancy for granted. I know that terrible things can happen, and that these things all happen for a reason on their own terms and timing. I also am painfully aware that those words do not heal a hurt or fulfill a longing that runs so deep. It's in our nature. We are often defined as the weaker sex, but how amazingly strong are we? We face uphill battles with determination. We pick ourselves up in the midst of devastation. We carry our heads high. We carry our children with us. Back up that hill, because we know that once we get there, the view is spectacular. 

Sensory Overload

Lately I've been experiencing sensory overload. Smell what the neighbor's cooking? puke. Pants touch my stomach? puke. Jay turns over in the middle of the night, bouncing me just a little? puke. Wash the kiddo's hair and the smell of her shampoo? puke. Hear something gross? puke. Think of something gross? puke. Pregnancy makes you sensitive and vulnerable. 

I just re-booked our Christmas travel plans and now I'm traveling by myself with Scout both TO and FROM Texas. I think it's time I asked for some Zofran and pick up some Seabands. Here's the remedies I've tried so far that have worked and have not worked (this is a tricky dance). Lemon water. Emetrol. Peppermint tea. Preggie Pop Drops. Eating something small and very bland every 2 hours. Resting. Exercise. Distraction. Ginger ale. Avoiding things that make me feel sick. 

Pregnancy sickness is one of those things....a blessing in disguise. It means your body is hard at work. Some attribute it to hormone levels on the rise. Others say it's because the digestive process slows down so much. Some say it's because of those increased senses, or stress and anxiety. Still, some think it's because of low blood sugar experienced during pregnancy. 

Whatever it is, it's the pits. A necessary purgatory. A wonderful means to a fascinating end result.